Augusta passed through the large and spacious master bedroom on the top floor of the house. A sliding glass door led to the deck. She stepped out, putting her feet down slowly and softly, letting her eyes adjust to the dark night.
The presence of Lazarus, heavy, ominous, seemed to envelop Augusta, yet she felt no fear. She felt flush with confidence, as if a bright new day was about to begin.
Back straight, head held high, Augusta walked toward the railing that ran all along the edge of the deck, then leaned lightly against it. She breathed in the night air, filled her lungs with it, then exhaled. She was calm, relaxed even.
“My equipment is missing.” The voice of Lazarus, deep and low, came from the other end of the rooftop, from dark shadows that kept him hidden from her sight. “Hard to call in my rescue helicopter without a radio. My cell phone seems to be missing from my jacket as well.”
“I sold the radio and gave back the cell,” Augusta replied, with a slight tone of happiness in her voice. “Your company, well, our company, is out of money. I sold the helicopter, too. Even if I hadn’t, the pilot was long gone. Hadn’t been paid in months. Your business acumen that you say you’ve had all these centuries, it seems to have deserted you.”
Lazarus stepped out of the shadows and the moon hit him like a spotlight. His eyes emitted a strange yellow light. His skin looked grey.
“My dear, dear Augusta,” he said softly, “you are obviously deranged. So sad. I prized you for your intelligence as well as your great beauty. It is very possible I could have been wrong about you. That just proves that no one is perfect, not even a genius like me.”
Augusta snorted, a short, spiteful sound to accentuate her contempt for him. “Some genius. The company would have been bankrupt if I hadn’t sold off most of its assets. And you, Mr. Genius, didn’t even realize I was doing it.”
Lazarus shrugged and sighed. “I’ve been busy with other things lately, you know, little things, like planning world domination. I didn’t keep an eye on you because I trusted you.” He sighed again, then continued. “Perhaps we weren’t doing as well as I had hoped, but this plan, this brilliant plan that I came up with, is going to solve everything. As we speak, my minions are unleashing bloody chaos the world over. It’s only a matter of time before governments the world over come on bended knee to beg me for my services. I will have the cure for their ills, and then I will begin my walk down the path of fortune and fame. I will conquer the world.”
Augusta snorted again. “Stop doing that,” Lazarus cried as he took a few steps in her direction. “A true lady doesn’t make barnyard sounds.”
“Whatever.” Augusta stretched her arms out along the railing. “I looked into those chaos spreading minions of yours. Quite the organization you pieced together. Losers, drunkards, derelicts, drug addicts, every last one of them. I ordered them to stand down, and they couldn’t even remember what it was they were supposed to be doing. Instead of walking the path to success, you would have stumbled like a fool in the alley of failure.” Augusta smiled at her clever turn of phrase, and thought to herself that she should write her memoir one day.
Lazarus made a grunting noise, shook his head. “No, no, no. You’re a liar.” He shut his eyes tight, ran a large hand over his face, then spoke in a pleading voice. “Why are you talking like this? We could have done such great things together.” He opened his eyes to look at her. The moonlight accentuated her beauty, and he temporarily melted for her again. “I really thought you were the one. Now I’m alone again.”
Pausing a moment to get back to being his evil self, he drew a deep breath, then drew a knife from within his jacket. “Vampires are a special breed of creature. We tread the earth for eternity. Not everyone deserves that. You and I could have been king and queen of the dark world. You’ve squandered that opportunity with your foolish talk and your idiotic behavior.”
Lazarus became more animated as he spoke. “I still have some respect for you though. That’s why I want to take care of you myself, rather than leaving the job of removing you from the vampire world to some faceless lackey.” He looked at Augusta a long time without moving a muscle. She didn’t take her eyes off him. Finally, he spoke again. “I could tear you to pieces with my bare hands and let vultures feast on your flesh.” He gestured with the knife. “This is much more personal though, because you and I have a history. I’ll plunge this ancient blade into your heart, quickly, then watch you fade away. Your death at my hand is my final gift to you.”
Augusta sniffed the air. “What’s that smell? Oh, it’s more tired old bullshit from a tired old vampire whose time is up.”
Cocking his head like a dog who doesn’t understand what he’s being told, he spoke in a tone of voice somewhere between hurt and blinding rage. “What did you say to me?”
“I said, meet the new boss, you old bastard. I’m not the same as the old boss. I’m smarter, stronger and faster than you ever were.”
He stared at her in disbelief. “Women. You’re all nuts.” Then he lunged at her.
The swiftness with which Augusta stepped aside surprised Lazarus. He had hit the railing exactly between the cuts that Augusta had made, then painted over. It easily gave way to a man of his girth.
Before he could even begin to think of a way to save himself, before he could scream in terror or in rage, Lazarus plummeted to the ground. He landed so hard he made a two inch deep impression in the turf. He was still conscious, but couldn’t move or think yet. All was quiet, all was still. Without thinking what he would do if he could stand, Lazarus attempted to raise himself.
Before he could do that, the werewolves pounced. The back yard was filled with them, every one of them large, ferocious and hungry. They had parted their ranks to make a space for Lazarus to fall into. After he landed, they waited to make sure he was immobile, then quickly they set upon him, tearing at every inch of his flesh. Augusta peered over the edge of the rooftop to see the evil vampire being ripped apart. She felt a sense of relief.
She turned away from the feeding frenzy below her to find Colette had joined her on the roof. “It pays to have friends in the werewolf community, doesn’t it?” she asked Augusta.
“Yes, it does,” Augusta replied as she bent to wipe Colette’s muzzle. “You had a bit of flesh hanging there. I hope you had enough to eat.”
“Oh, yeah,” Colette replied. “Got his liver. You know, a lot of people don’t care for liver, but I love it. Besides, a girl needs her iron. I don’t like to take supplements.”
Augusta nodded. “Neither do I. Still won’t eat liver though.” She bent again and gave Colette a hug. “I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done. Getting your friends here, and getting the villagers to come to the house.”
“It was my pleasure. Glad I could help. Never did like that Lazarus guy. He was never nice to my people, or my wolves, or whatever.”
“He was a monumental jerk. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go save Molly.”
“Is Phil still in the house? I should tell tell him what I’ve been up to. He gets worried.”
“He’s still here. Let’s go.”
The sound of flesh being torn from the bone and wolf lips smacking as Lazarus was being chewed out of existence filled the air as Augusta and Colette left the rooftop and made their way to the laboratory.
The presence of Lazarus, heavy, ominous, seemed to envelop Augusta, yet she felt no fear. She felt flush with confidence, as if a bright new day was about to begin.
Back straight, head held high, Augusta walked toward the railing that ran all along the edge of the deck, then leaned lightly against it. She breathed in the night air, filled her lungs with it, then exhaled. She was calm, relaxed even.
“My equipment is missing.” The voice of Lazarus, deep and low, came from the other end of the rooftop, from dark shadows that kept him hidden from her sight. “Hard to call in my rescue helicopter without a radio. My cell phone seems to be missing from my jacket as well.”
“I sold the radio and gave back the cell,” Augusta replied, with a slight tone of happiness in her voice. “Your company, well, our company, is out of money. I sold the helicopter, too. Even if I hadn’t, the pilot was long gone. Hadn’t been paid in months. Your business acumen that you say you’ve had all these centuries, it seems to have deserted you.”
Lazarus stepped out of the shadows and the moon hit him like a spotlight. His eyes emitted a strange yellow light. His skin looked grey.
“My dear, dear Augusta,” he said softly, “you are obviously deranged. So sad. I prized you for your intelligence as well as your great beauty. It is very possible I could have been wrong about you. That just proves that no one is perfect, not even a genius like me.”
Augusta snorted, a short, spiteful sound to accentuate her contempt for him. “Some genius. The company would have been bankrupt if I hadn’t sold off most of its assets. And you, Mr. Genius, didn’t even realize I was doing it.”
Lazarus shrugged and sighed. “I’ve been busy with other things lately, you know, little things, like planning world domination. I didn’t keep an eye on you because I trusted you.” He sighed again, then continued. “Perhaps we weren’t doing as well as I had hoped, but this plan, this brilliant plan that I came up with, is going to solve everything. As we speak, my minions are unleashing bloody chaos the world over. It’s only a matter of time before governments the world over come on bended knee to beg me for my services. I will have the cure for their ills, and then I will begin my walk down the path of fortune and fame. I will conquer the world.”
Augusta snorted again. “Stop doing that,” Lazarus cried as he took a few steps in her direction. “A true lady doesn’t make barnyard sounds.”
“Whatever.” Augusta stretched her arms out along the railing. “I looked into those chaos spreading minions of yours. Quite the organization you pieced together. Losers, drunkards, derelicts, drug addicts, every last one of them. I ordered them to stand down, and they couldn’t even remember what it was they were supposed to be doing. Instead of walking the path to success, you would have stumbled like a fool in the alley of failure.” Augusta smiled at her clever turn of phrase, and thought to herself that she should write her memoir one day.
Lazarus made a grunting noise, shook his head. “No, no, no. You’re a liar.” He shut his eyes tight, ran a large hand over his face, then spoke in a pleading voice. “Why are you talking like this? We could have done such great things together.” He opened his eyes to look at her. The moonlight accentuated her beauty, and he temporarily melted for her again. “I really thought you were the one. Now I’m alone again.”
Pausing a moment to get back to being his evil self, he drew a deep breath, then drew a knife from within his jacket. “Vampires are a special breed of creature. We tread the earth for eternity. Not everyone deserves that. You and I could have been king and queen of the dark world. You’ve squandered that opportunity with your foolish talk and your idiotic behavior.”
Lazarus became more animated as he spoke. “I still have some respect for you though. That’s why I want to take care of you myself, rather than leaving the job of removing you from the vampire world to some faceless lackey.” He looked at Augusta a long time without moving a muscle. She didn’t take her eyes off him. Finally, he spoke again. “I could tear you to pieces with my bare hands and let vultures feast on your flesh.” He gestured with the knife. “This is much more personal though, because you and I have a history. I’ll plunge this ancient blade into your heart, quickly, then watch you fade away. Your death at my hand is my final gift to you.”
Augusta sniffed the air. “What’s that smell? Oh, it’s more tired old bullshit from a tired old vampire whose time is up.”
Cocking his head like a dog who doesn’t understand what he’s being told, he spoke in a tone of voice somewhere between hurt and blinding rage. “What did you say to me?”
“I said, meet the new boss, you old bastard. I’m not the same as the old boss. I’m smarter, stronger and faster than you ever were.”
He stared at her in disbelief. “Women. You’re all nuts.” Then he lunged at her.
The swiftness with which Augusta stepped aside surprised Lazarus. He had hit the railing exactly between the cuts that Augusta had made, then painted over. It easily gave way to a man of his girth.
Before he could even begin to think of a way to save himself, before he could scream in terror or in rage, Lazarus plummeted to the ground. He landed so hard he made a two inch deep impression in the turf. He was still conscious, but couldn’t move or think yet. All was quiet, all was still. Without thinking what he would do if he could stand, Lazarus attempted to raise himself.
Before he could do that, the werewolves pounced. The back yard was filled with them, every one of them large, ferocious and hungry. They had parted their ranks to make a space for Lazarus to fall into. After he landed, they waited to make sure he was immobile, then quickly they set upon him, tearing at every inch of his flesh. Augusta peered over the edge of the rooftop to see the evil vampire being ripped apart. She felt a sense of relief.
She turned away from the feeding frenzy below her to find Colette had joined her on the roof. “It pays to have friends in the werewolf community, doesn’t it?” she asked Augusta.
“Yes, it does,” Augusta replied as she bent to wipe Colette’s muzzle. “You had a bit of flesh hanging there. I hope you had enough to eat.”
“Oh, yeah,” Colette replied. “Got his liver. You know, a lot of people don’t care for liver, but I love it. Besides, a girl needs her iron. I don’t like to take supplements.”
Augusta nodded. “Neither do I. Still won’t eat liver though.” She bent again and gave Colette a hug. “I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done. Getting your friends here, and getting the villagers to come to the house.”
“It was my pleasure. Glad I could help. Never did like that Lazarus guy. He was never nice to my people, or my wolves, or whatever.”
“He was a monumental jerk. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go save Molly.”
“Is Phil still in the house? I should tell tell him what I’ve been up to. He gets worried.”
“He’s still here. Let’s go.”
The sound of flesh being torn from the bone and wolf lips smacking as Lazarus was being chewed out of existence filled the air as Augusta and Colette left the rooftop and made their way to the laboratory.
No comments:
Post a Comment