Chapter 33 - Painted Lady

    Molly ran as quickly as she could, until her legs hurt and she felt close to losing her lunch, but she was no match for a vampire hell bent on speed. Still, she was able to follow the sulphur vapor. Sweat dripping from every pore, her clothes soaked, she slowed to a walk knowing she was near her destination. Now all Molly had to do was figure a way to stealthily approach the house, then sneak in.

    Or she could stand in front of the house and gaze at it in wonder. It was a beautiful old Victorian lady, tall and stately, painted dark grey with lavender trim. The mansard roof was the color of graphite and seemed to meld with the night sky. A deck had been added to the rear of the top floor. It overlooked a large back yard and, as the house was built at the top of a hill, the homes below it and the rest of Arbor Woods beneath them. The home of Lazarus was dark like a haunted house, but one haunted by wealthy, elderly women with refined taste. It did not look like the kind of place that would house a rampaging evil vampire who kidnaps people and performs experiments on them in his laboratory.

    Her first impulse was to climb the stairs to the front porch and ring the doorbell. Common sense returned quickly, and Molly decided storming in was a bad idea, possibly fatally so. Her mind reverted to thinking of a plan to enter the house by means of stealth.

    Molly strode across the front yard hoping there was a way to get to a back door or a basement window she might quietly force her way through. On either side of the house were large, broad bushes, each almost a full story high. Behind them, out of sight from the street, was a narrow walk that wound it’s way around the house. Molly followed the path.

    The way was dark but a light shone from a low window toward the rear of the building. Molly crouched beneath the window, listening intently for any movement or voices coming from inside. The short pale blonde hairs on the back of her neck stood on edge, goose pimples formed on her bare arms. She sensed someone, or something, was near. Slowly she turned her head.

    The dark silhouette of Augusta stood behind Molly. The silhouette held a small bottle in one hand, a light colored cloth in the other.

    “This is for your own good,” Augusta said.

    The effects of the chloroform wore off fairly quickly, but when they did Molly was surrounded by darkness and silence. Her hands and feet were trussed together in front of her with rough rope. Duct tape covered her mouth. She was barely able to move.

    That’s it, Molly thought, the minute I’m out of her, I’m going to kill her first.

Chapter 32 - Loba

    “What the hell does that mean, he sleeps with the squirrels? You saying he sleeps in a big nest in a tree? Or are you saying my son is dead?” Archie looked at Bulldog as if he were insane or stupid or both.

    “My God, you think Martin is dead?” Maria cried.

    “Maria, don’t worry,” Phil said, putting an arm around her. “Martin is fine. He’s not dead, he’s just been kidnapped by an evil vampire.” Phil winced as the words left his mouth, knowing they didn’t sound nearly as comforting as he wanted them to.

    “He doesn’t literally sleep with the squirrels,” Bulldog stated as if he were talking to slow children. “It is a message though. As you know, Archie, most vampires do not want to feed on humans so they switch over to the animal world.”

    Archie wrinkled his nose at the thought of sinking his fangs into what he thought of as disgusting vermin. “Not me, pal. I bite human or I don’t bite at all.”

    “Well, there are irresponsible snobbish types like you” Bulldog said with disdain, “but most prefer to feed on animals, particularly those of the nuisance variety, such as squirrels and other rodents, which are in abundance in many places.” He looked down at the morbid tableau on the table. “It looks to me as if the squirrels in this town are tired of being meals and they want someone in this house to know it.”

    “How on earth did they do this, all this wrapping?” asked Archie. “It’s not like they have opposable thumbs.”

    “You’d be surprised what the little devils can do when they work together,” Bulldog responded.

    Maria looked up at Phil with eyes full of concern and confusion. “Do you think Martin has been eating squirrels?”

    “We’re not even sure at this point that Martin is in reality a vampire. It’s more likely that Adriana is the one who’s been feasting on squirrels.”

    “It’s hard to imagine Martin doing that,” Maria made a face as if she were going to be sick, “sticking his teeth into an animal. Aside from being really squeamish, it would be too gamey for him. I mean, for heaven’s sake, he wouldn’t even eat liver when he was a kid.”

    Bulldog was growing impatient. He wanted to find the missing couple, perhaps nab a rogue vampire or two, but more importantly, he wanted to find Molly. “We need to get moving before the sulphur odor evaporates.”

    “You’re right,” Phil said. “Maria, I promise we’ll find Martin and bring him back.”

    “I’m going with you.”

    Phil tried to sound sympathetic yet firm. “Maria, you know I can’t allow that.”

    “You don’t have a choice. If I don’t go with you, I’ll go on my own. This is my son we’re talking about and there’s nothing you can do to stop me from trying to find him.”

    “What is the point of being a cop if I can’t boss people around?” Phil whined. He rolled his eyes and said, “Fine. Whatever. You can go. Why don’t we all go?”

    “That might not be a bad idea,” James said. “Archie may have some insight into this vampire’s mind, and I sure as hell am not staying here alone.”

    Phil threw his arms up in a sign of surrender and told everyone they could all fit in his police car. Stepping out the front door he found Colette, in wolf form, sitting on the stoop.

    She looked up at Phil with sexy, soulful eyes. “Hey, big fella, I hear you got yourself some vampire problems.” She looked past him and nodded hello to Bulldog, who stood with his mouth agape. He was more than a little surprised to see his former passenger again.

    “Colette, this is not a good time right now,” Phil said.

    “There really are werewolves,” Bulldog said to no one in particular. “I thought I dreamt that whole thing.”

    “You work with vampires all day and you’re shocked to find out that werewolves exist?” Archie asked.

    Despite being flustered at seeing Colette, Bulldog temporarily regained his composure. “You know this woman, or whatever, Officer Wembley?”

    Colette bared her teeth, mimicking a sly smile, as best a wolf could. “Oh, Phil knows me all right.” She walked around him, rubbing her furry body up against his legs. “Isn’t that right, Officer Wembley?” Then she sat down again and laughed.

    “Okay, this is getting a little weird,” James said, feeling a little uncomfortable after viewing that public display of inter-species affection.

    Not taking his eyes off Colette, Phil answered Bulldog’s question. “Yeah, I know her, Agent Armstrong.”

    “Ask her if she has my jacket,” Bulldog said, “and my ID card.”

    Colette threw a glance Bulldog’s way. “You know, I’m sitting right here. Why don’t you ask me yourself?”

    Feeling rattled, Bulldog asked her, in a very polite tone, if she had his missing belongings. Colette went back out on the stoop and retrieved Bulldog’s stuff by carrying them in her mouth and dropping them at his feet.

    “Thank you,” Bulldog said as he picked up his jacket, trying hard to avoid the areas that had werewolf drool on them.

    Walking around the room, Colette said, “You need my help, Phil. The sulphur smell is gone, at least to you guys. As you know, members of the canine family, and that includes me at this particular moment, have an excellent sense of smell. I can still follow the sulphur trail.”

    Phil put his hands on his hips in a scolding manner. “How long have you been out there? I told you not to listen in on people’s conversations like that.”

    “Oh, but you’re not just any old people, Phil,” Colette said as she ambled up and sniffed his crotch.

    Phil stifled a giggle as he gently pushed Colette’s snout away from his package. “All right, all right, you can help.” He looked around the room. “Okay, everybody, let’s move out.”

Chapter 31 - Album Oriented Rock

    Frantically swirling clouds enveloped Martin and Adriana, a constant rush of air hit their faces, and all the world was nothing but a grey mist for them. Time sped up, time slowed, time ceased to exist, as if they were alive and dead at the same moment. This is what it felt like to be carried in the arms of Lazarus Gorey as he ran quicker than any mortal man could ever dream of. The trio wasn’t even a blur; they were unseeable and noiseless, they were nothing more than the odor of sulphur.

    In an instant, the rushing air halted, replaced by a placid stillness. As the calm lingered, the mental fog of the two friends slowly began to burn away. They found themselves seated and comfortable, but their bodies felt heavy and immobile.

    Drowsy, Adriana lifted her head, turned toward Martin and squinted. “Dude, what just happened?”

    Martin took longer to wake. His eyes struggled to open while he licked his dry lips.

    Adriana tried to focus on her friend. “Do you know where we are, Martin?” As her eyes opened wider, she was able to see more clearly. “Why is there a grease stain on your shirt pocket?”

    “Pizza,” he mumbled.

    “Pizza? You put a pizza slice in your pocket?”

    Still groggy, he said, “Yeah. For later. Never know. Hungry.” He looked down at his chest. “Hey. Pizza gone. Damn it.”

    “It must have fallen out when we...uhm...what happened to us?”

    “I’ll tell you what happened,” the deep voice of Lazarus Gorey intoned. He was standing in front of them, putting surgical gloves on his hands. “I very ably assisted you in your safe arrival at my humble laboratory. Now you are my guests.”

    “Yeah, well, if we’re guests, why do you have us strapped down?” Adriana asked as she tugged at the restraints that bound her wrists to the arms of the chair she sat in.

    “Well, guests is a loose term,” Lazarus replied. “Guests, prisoners, call yourselves whatever you like. I prefer the term guest, myself.”

    Adriana kept trying to slip her hands out of their bindings as she spoke. “Just what do plan to do with us?”

    “I thought we went over that already. Maybe you’ve forgotten. Whatever. Long story short, I’m going to draw some blood from you and run a battery of tests. Any questions?”

    “Is that a signed Peter Frampton album?” Martin asked.

    Indeed, in his spotlessly clean and sterile laboratory Lazarus Gorey kept an array of framed album covers on one wall: Frampton Comes Alive, Rumours, Night Moves, etc.

    “Ah, you noticed,” Lazarus answered. “Yes, I am an aficionado of classic rock. I’ve lived through the Jazz Age as well as the time of Beethoven and Bach, I’ve sat in English music halls when Victoria sat upon the throne, and, full disclosure here, I am the uncredited composer of ‘How Much is That Doggie in the Window?’ I have to say though, that 1970s is a much maligned decade, musically speaking. I truly believe that album rock was the pinnacle of mankind’s musical creativity.”

    The two captives sat and stared at their captor. Lazarus suddenly looked dismayed. “Oh, what the hell do you two know? You probably think Derek and the Dominoes sang doo-wop.” He turned to the table behind and began preparing syringes and moving test tubes around.

    “It’s not that we don’t appreciate that music,” Adriana said, “we’re just a little surprised at your tastes, that’s all. I mean, 70s rock was excellent, you know, Led Zepellin and all, but how many times can you hear ‘Stairway to Heaven’ before you just want to scream?” She rolled her eyes while pretending to gag.

    Lazarus whipped around, a sneer on his face, a syringe in his hand. “Whatever. It’s time to get some blood out of you two.”

    Martin’s eyes widened when he saw the needle coming toward his arm. “Is this going to hurt?”

    The big man paused a moment. “Hurt? I’ll have you know I’m an excellent phlebotomist. What vampire wouldn’t be?”

    Adriana chuckled. “I don’t think it’s the pain that you need to worry about, Martin.” She looked up at Lazarus and said in a stage whisper, “He’s got hemophobia, Laz.”

    Looking both perplexed and disgusted, Lazarus said, “A vampire’s son who can’t stand the sight of blood? Now I’ve heard everything.” He shook his head. “I don’t believe it. You’re trying to stall me.”

    For some reason, Martin wanted to sound brave now. “I’ll be okay. I can handle the sight of blood.”

    “Glad to hear it,” Lazarus said as he swiftly jabbed the needle into Martin’s arm.

    Surprised that he barely felt the prick of the needle, Martin said, “Hey, that really was painless.” He looked down and smiled as the blood began to flow from his vein into the small tube attached to the syringe.

    “See, it doesn’t bother me a bit,” he said just before he lost consciousness.

    Adriana smiled at Lazarus. “Told you.”

Chapter 30 - Classic Movie Reference

    True to his word, the lone constable of Arbor Woods arrived at the Van Buren home in two minutes. The front door eased open as he knocked on it. He let himself in, Bulldog Armstrong in tow.

    “Don’t you lock your doors?” Phil asked. “Of course,” he answered himself, “we usually don’t have a need to in this town.”

    “I’m so glad you’re here, Phil,” Maria said, glancing at Bulldog. “I can’t believe what’s happened. Some crazy man has taken Martin and Adriana. He said they were going to do medical experiments on them or something.”

    “Medical experiments?” Bulldog asked. “That’s different.” The idea of vampires using humans as lab rats was a new one to him.

    “Different from what?” Maria inquired.

    Phil felt the need to stop the line of conversation there. “Maria, this is...” he paused, wondering if he should reinstate Bulldog to his former position. “This is Agent Armstrong. He’s going to help me find Martin.”

    Maria began to appear frantic. “I’ve never known you to need outside help before, Phil. Is there something going on that I should know about?”

    Phil didn’t really know what to tell her. Just the day before he had arrested Bulldog, thinking he was a deranged bum with poor driving skills. Now he realized that Bulldog was telling the truth about having been a special agent who hunts down vampires gone wrong. Phil understood that Maria knew that vampires existed, having mated with one. Even that experience, though, did not prepare her for having her only child kidnapped by a psychopathic blood sucking mad scientist.

    “Well, this whole vampire thing, uh, you know,” Phil stammered, “Agent Armstrong happened to be in town, so, uh, he kindly offered his help, and I’m going to make use of it.”

    Maria stood close to Phil and put a hand on his face. “Phillip, I’ve never seen you this nervous before.”

    Desiring greatly to change the subject, he asked how many people were witnesses to what happened.

    “We all were, James and I, Archie and Molly,” Maria responded.

    Bulldog’s ears perked up when he heard the name of the woman who had been thwarting him so successfully. “Did you say ‘Molly’? Young, perky blonde lady?”

    “That would be her,” Archie said. “She’s my girlfriend. How do you know her?”

    “She’s hardly your girlfriend, Archie.” Maria said. “You two barely know each other.”

    Bulldog gave a quizzical look to Archie, then asked where Molly was.

    “She was just here a minute ago,” Maria said.

    “She’s gone. Must have sensed I was on my way,” Bulldog said, assuming he was the center of Molly’s universe.

    “You said there were two of these vampires that made off with Martin?” Phil asked of no one in particular.

    “A large man and a woman,” James said.

    “Her name is Augusta Potocki,” Archie said. “She used to be my girlfriend, but I dumped her when I met Molly.”

    “Archie,” Maria asked, “is it possible for you to stop being full of shit for a few minutes? My son is in danger.”

    Archie looked sheepish. “Sorry.”

    “Did they give any clues as to where this lab is that they were taking Martin to?” Phil asked.

    “The woman said something about following the sulphur,” James said.

    “That makes sense,” Bulldog said. “When vampires exert themselves, when they do something incredibly strenuous, they give off a sulphuric odor. If it’s still lingering in the air, we may be able to follow it and track them down.”

    Just then, there was a thumping noise at the front door. Phil opened it, peered into the night. Looking down, he noticed a package wrapped in newspaper. Not thinking that it might be explosive, he picked it up, brought it into the living room and plopped it down on the coffee table. Everyone assembled around the table and stared at the package.

    “Should we open it?” Maria asked.

    “I think we should,” James said. “It kind of smells a bit.”

    “Okay,” Phil said as he bent over and gingerly unwrapped the newspaper.

    “Eeeuuuwwww,” Maria and James said simultaneously.

    On the table, lying on a bed of old newspaper, was a dead squirrel with a slice of pizza wrapped around its body.

    Archie’s eyes narrowed in confusion as he stared at the strange assemblage on the table. “What the hell is that? Is it supposed to mean something? Is it some sort of sign?”

    “It looks like the kind of pizza we were having for dinner,” James said. “Didn’t Martin have a slice in his shirt pocket when he got taken?”

    Phil looked at Maria with a mix of confusion and disgust. “Your son puts pizza slices in his pocket?”

    With a sense of resignation about Martin’s eating habits, Maria shrugged. “Yeah, he’s like that. He was probably just saving it for later.” 

    “You know what I think this means,” Bulldog said.

    Everyone looked at him blankly.

    “It means Martin sleeps with the squirrels.”

Chapter 29 - Taken

    Lights slowly came back to life in the Van Buren home, revealing two new guests. In the middle of the living room was Lazarus Gorey. Augusta stood by his side, wrinkling her nose at the odors of stale pizza, spilled wine and the devilish sulphur odor that Lazarus exuded whenever he traveled at lightning speed.

    Maria turned to face him, blinked, then asked, “Who the hell are you and how did you get into my home?”

    With a smug grin on his face, Lazarus began to walk slowly around the room. He meant not only to impress, but to instill fear. “You mortals, you normal, everyday people could never understand the powers I have. With ease, I appeared in a sealed room as if out of thin air.”

    “The front door was unlocked,” Augusta chimed in, nodding, “but all that stuff he said, powers, thin air, all that is true enough.”

    “Lazarus, what the hell is going on?” Archie asked. He looked at Augusta. “Why did you bring this fat creep here?”

    The grin left his face as Lazarus gave Archie the same look he would give dog crap on his shoe. “Oh, you again. You seem to be turning up a lot lately. Tell me, why is it you just don’t fade away and die?”

    “I was just wondering the same thing about you,” Archie replied.

    “Boys, boys,” Augusta said, “no bickering. We don’t have time for that, do we Lazarus?”

    “No, no, you’re right, my love, we don’t,” Lazarus answered. He looked at her with admiration. “You’re always right.”

    “Would someone tell me what is going on?” Maria asked.

    “Certainly, Ms. Van Buren,” Lazarus answered in his best insincerely polite tone. “I’m here for your son and his girlfriend...”

    “We’re just friends,” Adriana interrupted, “none of that romance stuff here.”

    “Whatever,” Lazarus continued. “As I was saying, I’m here for Martin and Adriana.”

    “Why would you want us?” Adriana asked. “Me, I can understand, I mean, look at me, I don’t mean to brag, but I’m dazzling tonight, but why Martin?”

    Lazarus eyed Adriana as if she were a little crazy. “Well, if you must know, I’m going to take you two, run some tests, and if things turn out as I hope, I will be able to create two amazing, revolutionary and, dare I say, lucrative products based upon Martin’s blood composition. For those that are already vampires and no longer wish to be so, there will be a vaccine, an antidote really, that reverses vampirism. The other product will be an inoculation which could be given to children all over the world to protect them from ever turning into a vampire should the misfortune of being bitten by one of those horrible monsters of the night befall them.”

    The big man paused while a smile slowly crossed his lips. “Of course, these creations of mine will be all the more valuable after I’ve caused worldwide panic by releasing the hordes of vampires in my employ and allowing them to wreak havoc. It will be then that I gouge the governments of the world by selling them the vaccine and the preventive inoculation. I’ll earn billions, have an immeasurable amount of control on politicians everywhere. Perhaps I’ll become president myself, then maybe even take over the world. Granted, that all sounds like a wonderful dream as it’s still early in the game, but to be honest, world domination is my ultimate goal.”

    “Uh-huh,” Martin croaked. Fear and anxiety growing within him, he still managed to find his voice. “Why on earth do you think my blood is an anti-vampire vaccine, or whatever you think it is?”

     “Well, word is that this blood sucking young lady here,” Lazarus gestured toward Adriana, “put the fangs into you and you didn’t turn, or if you did, it wasn’t for long. For some reason, your physical chemistry was resistant. I’d like to find out why.” Now he stared at Martin. “The ability of a human to resist vampirism is more than rare, it’s unheard of. You are not merely an anomaly, you are unique. Not only were you able to resist but the young miss showed symptoms of reversal, so much so that she lost her taste for blood. Terrible thing that, blood is so delicious.”

    “You seem to know an awful lot about me,” Adriana said to Lazarus.

    “Yes, well I do keep well informed. One of the reasons people such as myself are successful is because they have quick access to vast amounts of information that would normally be considered private.”

    “Must have been that damn doctor,” Adriana said. “Shit, I thought we could trust him.”

    Martin adjusted his throat. “What if, just for the sake of argument, I don’t want to have any tests run on me?”

    In one swift motion, the big vampire grabbed Martin by his shoulders and raised him in the air until they were eye to eye. “You don’t have a choice, little man. You’re  going to do just exactly what I tell you, and that’s that.”

    “Okey-dokey,” Martin said as Lazarus placed him back on the couch.

    Maria had gone from being tearful and guilt-ridden to being angry in a matter of minutes. “What makes you think I’m going to let you walk out of here with my son just like that?”

    Lazarus chuckled. “Of course, Ms. Van Buren, I plan to compensate you for the use and possible loss of your son. Would a herd of goats be acceptable? They’re all the rage now. You’ve got a lot of yard to take care of and goats are the most environmentally friendly way to mow your lawn.” 

    “You must be joking.”

    “Yes, I am joking,” Lazarus laughed. “I won’t be compensating you at all. Augusta, I think we should be going now. Let us take our two guinea pigs and be off.”

    Everyone was standing now as James spoke. “You realize there are more of us than there are of you. Despite your obvious physical strength, the numbers are not on your side.”

    Lazarus leveled an icy stare at James. “Young man, if you were paying attention a few minutes ago, you may have noticed that I had an undue influence on the atmospheric conditions. Yes, that was me, I’m the one who made it storm, a terrible, windy, lightning filled storm to suit my mood, and you think a room full of puny mortals can stop me from doing anything?”

    “You do bring up a good point, about the whole storm thing and all. I have to admit, that was pretty impressive.”

    “Thank you. Now Martin and Adriana, if you would be so kind as to come with me.”

    “Are we taking them back to headquarters?” Augusta asked.

    “No, I want to work on them personally. I have a safe house in town with a small lab. It’ll be more private, more secure.”

    “A safe house?” Archie sneered. “Who do you think you are, the C.I.A.?”

    “Hey,” Lazarus shot back, “if they can have safe houses, why can’t I?”

    “Honey,” Augusta said, “how do you plan to get them there?”

    “Huh. I hadn’t thought of that.” Lazarus had run, almost lifting off and flying, through the storm at incredible speed, Augusta hanging on to him for dear life, as she hadn’t yet mastered the vampiric art of super-rapid movement.

    “Well, I could cloud then control their minds and have them come to the safe house on their own.”

    “Why didn’t you do that in the first place?” Adriana asked. “Wouldn’t that have been easier than coming here all in a huff? I mean, come on, man, you’re a master of the underworld, you should have made us do your bidding.”

    “I hadn’t thought of that either.”

    Archie snorted. “How are you going to dominate the planet with piss poor planning like this?”

    “Shut up.” Lazarus shut his eyes and thought for a moment. When he opened them again, his face grew slack and he spoke to Maria in a voice as a sweet as honey. “Ms. Van Buren, do you have a car I might borrow? I’ll return it as soon as possible.”

    Maria was incredulous. “First, you want to use my son as a science project and now you want to take my car as well.” She shook her head. “That just takes the cake.”

    “There’s cake?” Martin asked. Adriana put her hand on his arm and said, “No, sweetie, there’s no cake.”

    Throughout this conversation, indeed, ever since Lazarus had arrived with Augusta, Molly had been wondering if it would be possible to kill them both. Now, as Lazarus was figuring out how to transport his future lab rats, Molly’s eyes glazed over as she got a dreamy look on her face. She decided to at least try to kill Lazarus. He was the most powerful blood sucking creature she had come across and it would be a great honor to take his life.

    How could she do it though? Maria’s vampire killer lay unloaded and worthless on the coffee table. Her own gun was nestled in her purse, sitting on the floor beside the couch. She had to create some sort of distraction to get her hands on it.

    “Oh!” Molly cried as she put a hand to her forehead. “I do believe I have the vapors.” She fell backward on to the couch.
   
    “The vapors?” Lazarus asked. “Who gets the vapors? This isn’t a Victorian novel.”

    Archie leaned over his date. “Molly, honey, are you okay? Can I get you some water or something?”

    “Can you hand me my purse, Archie?” Molly asked in a feeble tone.

    Quickly realizing what was on her mind, he said quietly, “I don’t think that would be a good idea, dear.”

    Molly whispered through gritted teeth, “Hand me my fucking purse, old man.”

    Archie held her arms firmly. “I don’t think I can it reach it dear,” he told her. “Try taking some deep breaths, then maybe you’ll be able to think more clearly, sweetheart.”

    Before anyone else could move, Augusta was by the side of the couch, Molly’s purse in hand. Digging into it, she pulled out the weapon Molly was hoping to use.

    “This would have been a very foolish thing to do,” she told Molly in a quiet, stern tone. “It would have been very bad for everyone here, including me.”

    “So,” Lazarus said, “the little girl wanted to take a shot at me?” Once more, he began to walk slowly around the room. “Do you know how many people have tried to kill me over the centuries? No? Well, neither do I. Too many to count. Here am I though. Every one fails while I keep succeeding.”

    The lights began to dim again. Outside, the wind began to whistle through the trees. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Once more, Lazarus Gorey was pissed off.

    He clenched his fists and flailed his arms. “I’m trying to do something monumental here and you people think you can interfere with me. Try fighting me and you are fighting God and the Devil all wrapped up in one package.” To match his physical presence and his vocal bombast, Lazarus had an outsize ego as well. “Well, the hell with you all! I always get what I want and now I’m taking it.”

    The house went dark. The noise in the living room was like a freight train roaring down the tracks. The smell of sulphur returned, stronger than before. Then the noise stopped and when the lights returned Martin and Adriana were gone.

    “Say what you will,” Archie said, “the man knows how to make an exit.”

    “My God, Martin!” Maria cried. “He’s gone! How will we find him?”

    “Follow the smell of sulphur,” Augusta said. She had remained behind, but now that she had imparted her little bit of information, she ran out the door.

    “What the hell is with that sulphur smell?” James inquired.

    “It’s like vampire farts,” Archie replied, “or maybe more like the smell of vampire sweat. When we, vampires that is, move that quickly and exert ourselves, we give off a sulphur smell. One of the downsides of being a vampire. That’s why I always use extra-strength deodorant.”

    “I see,” said James, wishing he hadn’t asked.

    Maria turned to the others. “What do we do now?”

    “Call the cops,” Archie said.

    “And tell them what? That vampires kidnapped my son and his girlfriend?”

    “I really don’t think they’re dating,” James said.

    “Why not?” Archie asked.

    “Well,” James responded, “I think she’s a little wild for Martin’s tastes.”

    “No,” Archie said, “I mean why not call the cops? What’s the worst that could happen?”

    “Okay, I’ll try it,” Maria said. She went to the phone in the kitchen and hit the speed dial number for the Arbor Woods Police Department.

    Phil Wembley picked up before the first ring finished.

    “Phil, this is Maria Van Buren.” She spoke rapidly, without pausing for a breath. “You wouldn’t believe what just happened. Two people kidnapped Martin and his girlfriend, a big guy and a woman, and they both said they were vampires. I kind of believe them too. The guy especially seemed to have supernatural powers. He made it rain, Phil, he made it rain. And his sweat smells like sulphur.” Finally, Maria stopped and took a deep breath. Phil remained silent at the other end of the line. “Please don’t think I’m crazy, Phil. It all sounds crazy, but I saw it happen with my own two eyes.”

    “I believe you.”

    Maria was incredulous. “You do? Because it all sounds nuts to me.”

    “It’s not. I’ll be there in two minutes.”

Chapter 28 - Allies

    Phil Wembley, holding a cup of coffee that steamed in the night air, stood in the doorway of the Arbor Woods police station. He had always loved watching storms roll in. Squinting as raindrops hit his face, this particular storm gave him an ominous feeling deep down inside. The station house’s lights flickered, then fizzled out. The storm was intense but brief. Just as quickly as it arrived, the wind died away and the thunder quieted. There was not a flash of lightning to be seen anywhere in the now clear skies. Behind him, the lights flickered back to life.

    “You know, I think it’s a human rights violation making a man smell those cookies baking but denying him access to them.”

    Phil turned around slowly, leaned up against the door frame, then looked Bulldog Armstrong up and down, just to make sure he wasn’t armed. “I see you’ve gotten out of your cell,” he said with a smile.

    “When the storm knocked out the electricity, it must have unlocked the cell door,” Bulldog said.

    “Nah, it was never locked in the first place.” Phil took a sip of coffee. “Lock broke years ago but I never bothered to fix it. I forgot to tell you, I was holding you here on the honor system.”

    Bulldog shook his head in disbelief. “That’s no way to run a railroad.”

    “This ain’t no railroad,” Phil said, “it’s a cop house in a town where very few people ever get arrested, and fewer still spend the night. Care for a cup of coffee? Just made a fresh pot. You still don’t get a cookie though.”

    The two walked back to the kitchen area and Phil poured his guest a cup of black java. “You don’t look like the kind of guy who takes cream or sugar,” he said as pushed the cup across the table to where Armstrong sat.

    “You are correct, Officer Wembley,” he said. “You’re a good judge of men and their caffeine habits.” He took a tentative sip. “Well, it’s certainly hot, that’s for sure.”

    Phil rested his backside against the kitchen counter and looked down at Bulldog without saying anything more.

    “Hell of a storm we just had,” Bulldog said. “Blew through here quick, too. Rose up and died down all in the matter of a minute or two. Kind of unusual.”

    “Yep.”
    From underneath his salt and pepper eyebrows, Bulldog looked up at Phil. “You know, I don’t remember you wearing that gun before. In fact, I don’t recall you carrying a gun at all. Storms must make you nervous.”

    Silent, motionless, Phil just kept on looking at Bulldog.

    “Frankly, Phil,” Bulldog paused a moment before continuing, “can I call you Phil? I realize it’s informal, but this seems to be an informal police department you’re running.”

    Phil nodded.

    “Frankly, Phil, that’s an awfully big damn gun for a cop in a town that seems strangely devoid of crime. Why the sudden desire for such extreme firepower? Is there a lot of looting in Arbor Woods after big storms? Or are you expecting some terrorists to come blazing through town?” Bulldog paused again, for what he hoped was dramatic effect. “Or is it something worse?”

    Phil put on his best expressionless cop face for Bulldog. “Nothing special about this gun. Just like to put it on once in a while. Makes me feel like a real cop.”

    “Nothing special, huh?” Bulldog leaned back in his chair. “My friend, you and I both know that gun was manufactured in a secret factory located in the side of a cave, deep in a forest, and that neither cave nor forest are on any maps. Only special agents who do a very specific type of work for the federal government are issued that particular weapon. It’s designed to be very powerful and very accurate. Even someone not trained to use that revolver could easily put a bullet directly through the heart of, well, the heart of the creature he’s aiming at.”

    Phil’s eyes narrowed, ever so slightly.

    “The only other law enforcement officials who would have a gun like that would be highly trained local lawmen who work in an area with a very particular type of resident, the kind of resident that would scare the bejesus out of the general populace if he decided he no longer wanted to play by the rules of normal society.”

    Phil finished his coffee, placed the cup on the table. “Well, well, maybe you are who you said you are. Or maybe you’re just a nut job who reads a lot of stupid stuff on the Internet.”

    “I vote for being who I said I was. Phil, you’re worried about this storm because it means trouble for you, trouble you’ve apparently had before. The storm had unique characteristics. The suddenness, the brevity, the incredible intensity of it, it all means only one thing. This town has a very, very powerful vampire living here and he is very, very pissed off about something. Now it’s just it’s a matter of finding this blood sucker and figuring out why he’s so angry. Then we can decide what to do about him.”

    “We?” Phil asked.

    “Yes, we. You know I can help you. I’ve got tons of experience and I really, really need to get back in the game. I’d also like to find the vigilante I was hunting down before things went a little haywire for me. In fact, if we find her, we may very well find the reason this vampire is so upset.”

    Phil pondered all that for a moment before he spoke. “I see. You know what I think?”

    “Nope.”

    “I think you can have a cookie now.”

Chapter 27 - Where's Jerry Springer When You Need Him?

    “You know, I don’t think alcohol and firearms go together,” James responded to Maria’s call for wine.

    “Nonsense,” Maria said, “I haven’t reloaded yet so this is the perfect time for wine.”

    “I hate to agree with James,” Martin said, “but I think he’s right. Maybe some coffee or something.”

    “I’ll be right back with a couple of bottles and some cups or something,” Maria said as she made her way to the kitchen. “I’ve broken most of the wine glasses over the years so we may have to use coffee cups. Anybody mind drinking wine out of a coffee mug?”

    “Works for me,” Adriana said.

    Martin sighed and shook his head. “This isn’t going to end well.”

    “Oh, don’t be such a gloomy Gus,” Adriana said as she and Molly straightened the furniture that had been knocked out of place during the brief melee.

    Maria returned and poured wine into mugs of various sizes and colors. Each person grabbed a mug and immediately took a swig. They sat in silence for a few moments, took another drink, then sat silently again, no one making eye contact, everyone lost in their own thoughts.

    It was Molly who decided to break the silence. “So, Maria...” She paused, wanting to choose her words carefully so as not to upset a possible homicidal maniac. “I have to say, you don’t strike me as the type of person who goes around shooting people willy-nilly.”

    Maria had been staring at the floor as she drank, but now she raised her eyes to bore holes into Archie’s skull. “He knows why I want him dead.”

    “Mom, I have to be honest, you’re scaring me. This is a whole new side of you and it’s kind of frightening.”

    “Kind of?” James chuckled. “You saw the way your mother shoots. There’s no doubt about it being frightening.”

    After a short pause, Maria’s face broke into a smile and she started laughing. “True, I haven’t practiced in a while.” The smile faded away. “I would have gotten him eventually though.”

    “Maybe I should be going,” Archie said while attempting to stand up. Molly grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him back down.

    “I’d like to know why you want Archie dead,” Molly said.

    Martin nodded. “I am kinda curious about that, Mom.”   

    “It’s okay, Mama Maria,” Adriana said. “Everybody wants to kill someone at some point in their lives. Tell us why you wanted to off this old bastard.”

    “Hey!” Archie cried.

    “Shut up,” Adriana responded.

    Maria’s face clouded over as she poured the last of a bottle of shiraz into her mug, finishing it in one gulp.

    “Well, I guess the truth has to come out some time. I always thought I could keep it all secret, but apparently nothing stays secret forever.” She opened another bottle of wine, poured herself a mugful, then let it sit.

    James had sat down next to her. He put his arms around her shoulders and said, “Whatever secrets you’ve got, they can’t be all that bad. You can tell us. We would never judge you.”

    Maria drew a breath, her shoulders slumped, and her face lost the look of hard stone it had had only a moment ago.

    “Okay,” she said, “I’ll tell you. But what’s said in this room, stays in this room.” Maria looked around as everyone nodded or murmured their agreement. “Archie was the first love of my life. Of course, he ended up breaking my heart.”

    A look of disgust appeared on Adriana’s face. “Eeuuww! This old coot was your first love? What were you, a great-grandpa chaser?”

    “Adriana, please,” Maria said, “let me finish.”

    “Sorry.”

    “He wasn’t old then. At least, he didn’t look old.”

    Martin looked confused. “Wait a second, Mom. You always told me Dad was your first and only love.”

    “Yeah, well,” Maria said before she took a long swallow from her mug. “There’s something you need to know.”

    “Oh, shit,” Adriana said.

    Martin looked at her, then his mother. “Oh shit, what? What’s going on?”

    Looking both nervous and relieved, Maria grimaced and said, “Martin, Archie here is your father.” Molly and Adriana attempted to muffle their gasps. James simply said, “Huh.”

    Martin had the look of a man hit in the head with a sledgehammer. “You mean you cheated on Dad?”

    “No-o-o-o,” Maria said slowly, drawing the word out as long as she could. “Archie and I were married. He was my first and only husband.”

    “But, but,” Martin stammered. “How could that be? He doesn’t look anything like the man in the photos that you say is Dad.”

    “Well, that was him in those photographs all right,” Maria said, casting a caustic glance at Archie. “He just didn’t age well.”

    “That’s because I was ashamed of what I’d done.” Archie leaned forward toward Maria as he spoke. “I went away and waited for death. It just took a few more decades to get to me than I thought it would. The Grim Reaper’s a pokey bastard.”

    “If you went away, what the hell are you doing here now?” Maria almost shouted.

    “Hold on a minute,” Molly said. “Pardon my bluntness, but if I’m correct, and I usually am about this sort of thing, Archie here is a vampire. True?”

    James reached for her mug. “I think you’ve had too much wine.”

    Maria didn’t answer, but hung her head.

    “It’s true,” Archie said quietly.

    “Maybe I’ve had too much,” James said, pushing away his wine mug. “I do not understand any of this. First infidelity that isn’t really infidelity, now you’re talking about vampires like they’re real or something.”

    Martin stood up, didn’t know what to do or where to go, and sat back down. “This is just great! My best friend and my mother are having an affair and now I find out my father is a vampire!”

    Maria’s head shot up. “What?”

    When James finished laughing, he asked, “Why on earth do you think your mom and I are having an affair?”

    “Well, you know,” Martin spluttered, “you’re always together, always going off somewhere to be alone. What the hell else am I supposed to think?”

    “I told you, Martin, I’m training James to take over the store. Besides, I’m not sure I’m his type anyway.”

    James laughed again. “Martin, have you not noticed that I’m gay?”

    “You’re what now?”

    “You’ve got to be kidding me. You never noticed? Don’t you remember that time in high school, you walked into the locker room and found me kissing the football coach?”

    “I thought you were practicing CPR or something.”

    “CPR? Naked? In the shower?”   

    “Yeah, I suppose that was a little weird. I never really suspected though.”

    James rolled his eyes. “You know, I’ve introduced you to my boyfriends over the years.”

    “You have?”

    “Do you not pay attention to what’s happening in the real world around you?”

    “Apparently not.”

    “This story is getting really good,” Adriana said over her shoulder as she ran to the kitchen to get more wine. She quickly returned, opened the bottle, and started pouring. “I love screw caps. Much easier to deal with than corks,” she said with a smile. “So, tell us Maria, what happened? What did this old bastard do to make you kick him to the curb?”

    “Well,” Maria said with anger seeping into her voice, “for one thing, he never told me he was a blood sucking whore.”

    Archie nodded. “That much is true. I thought I could keep my vampirism hidden, that I could maintain self-control, but, I was just lying to myself.”

    “I found out the truth one day when I came home from work unexpectedly,” Maria said. “Archie was supposed to be out with the boys but instead I found him on the couch, sinking his fangs into the baby sitter.”

    Archie looked wistful. “You should have seen her,” he said to no one in particular. “She had a jugular vein you wouldn’t believe. Stood out on her neck like a big blue river. I couldn’t resist.”

    “Pig,” Adriana said.

    “It didn’t hurt that she was a teen-age blonde with big boobs,” Maria said.

    “No, I guess it didn’t.”

    “Pig,” Molly said.

    “Hey!” Archie tried to look and sound indignant, but it didn’t work. He shrugged. “Yeah, I guess I was a bit of a pig.”

    “I should have killed you right then and there,” Maria said, “but I was too freaked out by the whole situation.”

    “So what happened next?” Molly asked.

    Archie spoke up. “At first I thought, maybe I can talk Maria into the lifestyle. I told her it would be exciting to be married to a vampire.”

    “Oh, yeah, Mister Excitement. We stayed home on Saturday nights and watched The Love Boat. Some excitement.”

    “I thought that was a really good show. You know, that guy who played Gopher was in Congress.”

    Maria lunged for the gun but Adriana swept it up and tucked it underneath the cushion of the chair she sat on. “I probably shouldn’t have left that on the coffee table. Anyway, Maria, take a deep breath and tell us more.”

    Maria sank back into the cushions and continued. “Archie explained everything to me, who he was, what he was. I couldn’t stop crying, but it dawned I me that I wasn’t scared of him. When I realized that, I stopped my sobbing and told him to get out. I never wanted to see him again, I never wanted him in this house again. He said he would never return and would never attempt to see Martin.” She looked at her son. “You were young enough then that I knew you wouldn’t remember anything about him. I sent Archie away because I thought that was what was best for you. Until now, everything’s been just fine.”

    Martin appeared to be in shock. “I don’t know what to make of any of this.”

    “Neither do I,” James said. “I find it hard to believe that vampires really exist.”

    “Well, it’s true, we do exist,” Archie responded, “and there’s more of us than you would imagine.”

    “Yep, there are vampires in this world,” Adriana said, “and I’m one of them. And where there are vampires, there are vampire killers.” She looked at Molly. “Isn’t that right, little missy?”

    Molly remained expressionless as she answered. “Why do you look at me when you say that?”

    “I can smell death wish types a mile away. You vampire vigilantes think you can do whatever you want and get away with it.”

    Molly’s eyes grew cold. “You mean like when you blood suckers turn someone against their will?”

    “You’re right,” Adriana responded. “There’s some bad actors out there who don’t go about their vampire business the right way, but that doesn’t give people like you the right to hand out a death sentence to every vampire you come across. Just what turned you into a vampire killa anyway? Is it the thrill of the chase? Or do you get off on the rush you feel when you kill?”

    Molly looked away. “It’s none of your business.”

    “It’s my business if you try to kill me or my friends.” She glanced at Archie. “I would have said you can kill the old boy, but now that we know he’s Martin’s father, well...oh, go ahead, kill him anyway.”

    Maria grew agitated with all the talk of death. “There’s not going to be any killing tonight. If I can’t kill Archie myself, then no one else can, and I don’t want harm coming to anyone else in this room, do you understand me?”

    Adriana looked sheepish. “Yes, ma’am.”

    “Molly?”

    “Okay,” Molly said quietly, sounding like a little girl being admonished by her mother.

    Martin looked over at Archie. “I can’t believe you’re my father. Does that mean I’m a vampire, too?”

    Archie smiled. “It doesn’t work like that. You would need to be bitten, or turned so to speak, by a vampire, to become one.”

    “You know, Arch,” Adriana said, “your boy here is repulsed by the sight of blood. Faints dead away when he sees it.”

    “That proves he’s my boy,” Archie exclaimed with an odd sort of pride. “I was the same way when I was your age, Martin. You can get over it. It’s all about using the strength of your mind. Mind over matter, essentially. Just remember, your mind, anybody’s mind, is an enormously powerful tool.”

    “Oh, he’s a tool all right,” Adriana said.

    “What if I don’t want to do anything?” Martin asked.

    “What’s that?” Archie was confused by the question.

    “I really do not understand any of this,” James said. “This is all very odd. It’s like I’ve discovered an entirely new world, but it’s really just the same world, yet completely different, if that makes any sense.”

    “I think it does,” Molly said.

    Maria turned her mug upside down over the table. A few drops spilled out. “I think  I need more wine.”

    As the last deep purple droplet hit the table the wind outside picked up. It was a fierce roar, like a giant pride of angry lions bearing down on the house. Tree branches crackled loudly as they bent, then snapped and hit the side of the house. Thunder rumbled and intense, bright flashes of lightning could be seen from every window. As quickly as the wind had whipped up, it became calm. No more thunder, no more lightning.

    In an instant the strong odor of sulphur filled the house.

    Then the lights went out.