Chapter 21 - Another Brief Deluded Interlude

Writer's note (because "Author's Note" sounds kinda pretentious): Summer is full of distractions. The very idea of summer itself is a distraction. How can one mull over the all the potential joys a summer day holds - hot sun and cold beer, sea and sand, the aroma of freshly cut grass and burgers on the grill, the quiet solitude of the woods, the happy squeals of children on the beach - and still concentrate on anything of even meager import? It is these distractions of summer that are causing my normally glacial writing pace to slow even further. That's life, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

Moving on, let's talk about minions. Minions are very popular now, what with those cute devils in "Despicable Me 2" and all. Who wouldn't want a minion, or maybe even a whole group of them? Well, my story has minions. Former military contractors in the employ of Lazarus Gorey, they once fancied themselves Ninjas, but they weren't worthy of the title. Now they refer to themselves as operatives, and I've decided to give each of the four operatives names, although they are really nicknames so they can remain incognito. Characters suddenly having names when they had none before may be slightly confusing, but as I tell my proofreader/spouse, everything will get cleared up in the re-write. I swear it.

Now, on with the show.
   
    Lazarus Gorey once again stepped into the small grey room that was hidden from the rest of his company’s headquarters, buried in a sub-basement few knew existed. His operatives, the ex-Ninjas, had just arrived and Gorey wanted to see if they had gotten it right this time.

    A solitary figure sat motionless in the sole piece of furniture in the room, a straight backed wooden chair. Behind this the the four operatives stood at attention. Clad entirely in black - t-shirts, jeans, boots - Gorey thought they looked like an aging boy band trying to stage a comeback. He cast a suspicious eye on what seemed to be a woman in the chair, a hood over her head, rope binding her arms and legs.

    “Who is this?” Gorey asked.

    “We went to the Van Buren home, but he wasn’t there,” Cap, the operative’s leader, piped up. “We found the girl hiding in a corner. We took her without incident.”

    “She didn’t put up a fight?” Lazarus thought it odd that Martin’s girlfriend, an alleged vampire, would submit quietly to being kidnapped by cut rate stooges. “Take her hood off.”

    With an obvious look of pride on his face, Hack, the biggest and dimmest of the operatives, lifted the hood. In the chair sat Dolly, the inflatable girl Adriana had given Martin as a birthday gift. Gorey slapped a meaty hand over his eyes. Without removing it he said, “You know this is a sex doll, right?” He removed the hand so he could glare at the boys in black.

    Doc, the op with a sensitive soul and a moldy brain, said, “Sir, with all due respect, while we understand the sometimes crude nature of our business, referring to this woman, or any woman, as a ‘sex doll’ is not politically correct. We would expect that a man in your position would be above such characterizations.”

    Lazarus mentally willed his operatives heads to explode. When this failed, he said, “What I mean is, this ‘woman,’ as you call her, is in reality an inflatable doll. Life size, anatomically correct I presume, but a doll nonetheless. She is a non-human, bereft of life.”

    “Oh.”

    Rage began to fill Gorey’s body. “How in the world could you mistake a doll for an actual human being?”

    “It was dark in the house,” the normally silent op Cal said.

    “Yeah, dark,” Hack added. “Couldn’t see.”

    “It wasn’t like we could turn the lights on,” Cap said. “That would have taken away the element of surprise.”

    “I paid good money for you to have night vision goggles. What did you do with them?”

    “We left them at home. Hack was supposed to bring them.”

    Hack appeared stunned by the accusation. “You said you were going to bring them!”

    “Did not!”

    “Shut up, both of you!” Gorey stared at them, wondering how such stupid people could roam the earth without horrible tragedy befalling them on a regular basis. He also felt some apprehension that these idiots were heavily armed. Rolling his eyes, Gorey sighed. “Didn’t you find it the least bit odd that she offered no resistance?”

    “We thought she was playing possum.”

    “Playing possum? Oh, good grief! Bring her back where you found her, then find  Van Buren and this vampire chick he’s hanging out with and bring them here. You guys are on a short leash. My patience has just about run out, so don’t fail me. Now get going.”

    Light on his feet for such a large man, Lazarus spun around on his heels and bounded out of the room, leaving the operatives to gaze at Dolly.

    “She really is pretty life-like,” Cap said. The others nodded their agreement.

Chapter 20 - A Little Dickens

    The cafe half of Maria’s Books and Cafe was still bustling with customers even though the morning rush was past. Maria maneuvered amongst the hipsters and office workers and those who simply needed caffeine to personally bring her son and his seemingly ever present friend their coffee.

    “Thanks, Mom,” Martin said without looking up when she set the cup down in front of him.

    “Thank you, Maria,” Adriana said, a warm smile on her face.

    “You’re welcome, guys. What’s on your agenda for today?”

    Lost in thought, Martin didn’t respond, so Adriana spoke up. “Not sure, mama Maria. I think Martin needs an airing out. He needs the stink blown off him.”

    “I think you’re right,” Maria said, glancing at her son. “How do you plan on doing that?”

    Slowly coming back to earth, Martin said, “Wait, what are you two talking about? Who stinks?”

    Maria laughed. “Never mind, sweetheart.” She leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. “You two have a good day. I have to go over some things with James in the office.”

    When Maria was out of earshot, Adriana said, “What do you think they’re going to go over? You think they’re gonna do the nasty on her desk?”

    He gave her an icy stare. “You know that’s my mother you’re talking about?”

    “Yeah, I know. You think your mother doesn’t have sex? How do you think you got here? So what’s bothering you, other than me?”

    Martin shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m just feeling a little out of sorts, that’s all.”

    “Well, you should have stayed and had those tests yesterday, instead of running out on the doctor like that. Maybe he could have sorted you out.”

    “I got tired of waiting. What happened to him anyway? It’s like he disappeared.”

    “Yeah, that was kind of weird, him cutting out like that. Still, you could have waited. What else have you got going on in your life that you can’t wait in a doctor’s office?”

    “Plenty.” He attempted to sound indignant, but it was a halfhearted effort. “I’ve got plenty of things to do.”

    “Yeah, you could have been home watching the Weather Channel.”

    “What can I tell you, I like the music they play.” Martin looked around, his sight settling on a new girl stocking shelves in the bookstore. “Who is that? I didn’t know Mom hired someone new. She never tells me anything.”

    “Do you ever ask her anything? Like how her day was, did you hire any cute new girls, that sort of thing?”

    “Well, not in so many words, no.”

    “I didn’t think so. Some son you are.” Noticing that he hadn’t taken his eyes off the new employee, Adriana said, “You know, rather than staring at her, you could go over and introduce yourself.”

    He cast his gaze down at his coffee. “What for? Who would want to meet me?”

    Adriana rolled her eyes. “Boy, you really are mopey today. Is it that time of the month or something?” She stood up. “Come on, let’s go say hello.”

    Martin shook his head slightly, mumbled, “Ah, I don’t want to do that.”

    “Stand up,” she commanded. Martin stood up and the pair walked over to the new girl. As they did, the new employee, a young blonde, finished putting a copy of Dickens on a shelf. Then she turned to face Adriana and Martin. Shifting her gaze from one to the other, she looked at them with a fierce intensity, as if trying to see what was inside their souls. Martin didn’t notice this, but, her senses being more keen, Adriana did.

    “Hello there, new person,” Adriana said as she held out her hand, “I’m Adriana and this here is Martin Van Buren, not the old president but the son of Maria.”

    “Oh, hi Martin. Your mom told me about you. It’s good to meet you.” The new girl shook their hands. Her eyes lost some of their intensity. She gave them both a quizzical, almost confused look, then smiled and said to Martin, “My name is Molly, Molly Kwiat. I just moved to Arbor Woods and your mom was nice enough to give me a job. I love books. I worked at the book store back home in Pine Springs.”

    “Well, Molly from Pine Springs, wherever that is, it was nice to meet you, but Martin and I have to go see a doctor.”

    “We do?” he asked.

    “I hope everything is all right. Are you ill, Martin?”

    “I didn’t think so.”

    Adriana grabbed his arm and started to drag him away. “Good meeting you, Molly,” he said as he was being hustled to the front door. “What the hell is wrong with you?” he whispered to his crazy vampire friend.

    She didn’t answer until they were outside. “There’s something off about that girl. She made me nervous. Well, maybe not nervous, but a little unsettled.”

    Martin thought of the petite girl with blonde hair and blue eyes that he had just met, and said, “Yeah, you’re right, she looks like trouble.”

    “Joke if you must, but I have a good sense about these things. There’s just something not quite right about Molly Kwiat, if indeed that is her real name.” Adriana drew a deep breath and relaxed. “Let’s go back to your place, I think The Price is Right is on.”
   
    Back inside the store, Molly was also thinking something wasn’t quite right. She had quickly gotten proficient at identifying vampires. While she was unsure about Martin, Molly felt Adriana was definitely giving off blood sucker signals, just not very strong ones. Her contemplation was interrupted by a voice behind her.

    “Excuse me, young lady, you look like somebody who would enjoy a little Dickens.”

    Molly slowly turned her head so she could see the voice’s source. It was an elderly gentleman, dressed in a sport coat and jeans, a copy of David Copperfield in one hand, Great Expectations in the other. His eyes had a gllimmer about them that said, “I’m a naughty boy,” and he truly was. Archie Greenway meant to really live his life from now on. One way to do that was to see if he could get a date with a girl hundreds of years younger.

    “Pardon me, sir?” Molly said. She thought, is this old geezer coming on to me?

    “I’m trying to decide on a book. These days, I have great expectations, but I think David Copperfield was married to that German model. He must’ve had something on the ball to snag her.”

    “I think you’re a little confused, sir,” Molly replied.

    “Oh, let’s not be so formal. Call me Archie, because that’s my name.”

    This old feller is definitely trying to pick me up, she thought, and he’s definitely giving off vampire vibes. “Okay, Archie. I’m Molly.” She looked at what he was holding. “These are both good books, well worth purchasing the pair.”

    “Oh, you’re a good salesperson. Smooth I like that. You know, due to circumstances beyond my control, I hadn’t been getting out of the house much recently, so I don’t know too many people in town anymore. When you don’t know anyone, that leaves a lot of time for reading.”

    “Uh-huh. Well, I’m new in town, so I don’t know anyone either. Maybe we could explore together.” She spoke that last part with just a hint of sultry sexiness in her voice.  Archie thought his wildest dreams were coming true.

    “I think that would be delightful, Molly. How about I take you out for dinner this evening? What time do you get off work?”

    “My shift ends at seven.”

    “I’ll be waiting outside for you.” He paused, then said, “You know, it has been a real pleasure to meet you.”

    Archie couldn’t believe that this young girl might actually be into him.

    Molly couldn’t believe that Archie might actually believe that she was into him. She looked forward to seeing him that night anyway. It was time to rid the world of another blood sucking fiend.   

    As they were saying their goodbyes, Molly noticed that Archie got just the slightest look of fear and surprise in his eyes when he saw Maria emerge from her office.

    “See you tonight,” Archie said as he walked away.

    “Okay,” Molly replied, “I’ll be waiting for you.”

Chapter 19 - Deluded Interlude

    “Agent Armstrong, the President of the United States wishes me to extend to you his heartfelt thanks. Your tireless efforts to rid this country of the criminal element amongst the Vampire-American community, as well as those who engage in vigilante justice against that community, has been exemplary. An entire nation owes you its gratitude. Of course, they don’t realize that, as these operations, as you know, are top secret.”

    Bulldog Armstrong exchanged a firm, masculine handshake with the director of the Vampire Investigation Unit. “Thank you, sir, it’s good to know the hard work of agents in the field is appreciated.” The handshake between the two men lingered a tad too long. They looked deeply into each other’s eyes, stepped closer together, then embraced. The director whispered into Bulldog’s ear, “Agent Armstrong, there’s something I’ve always wanted to tell you.”

    Bulldog’s eyes shot open. His head was throbbing and his mouth felt as if he had been sucking tennis balls all night. “Okay, that was weird. That’s the third time this week I’ve had that dream. I really, really don’t want to have it again.”

    Having slept on the hood of his Chevy Cavalier, his back ached, yet he didn’t feel like moving. He stared at the canopy of trees above him. Another night, it would have blocked out the moon and the stars, but tonight they were hidden. The sky was entirely dark, appearing as one thick, stationary cloud. Yawning, he drew a hand over the stubble that covered his face. With the other hand, he reached for the Jack Daniel’s bottle that lay across his chest and put it to his mouth. Empty. He tossed the bottle into the distance. It landed quietly in the brush alongside the gravel road where he had parked hours before.

     This wanton act of littering caused guilt to well up inside Bulldog. With great effort, he pried his body up from the car and felt around in the bushes until he found the empty bottle. He heaved it through the open window of the passenger door, where it landed on the seat.

    Armstrong looked at the car and sighed. Thirty years of service to his country, fighting enemies ordinary people only imagined existed, thirty years performing not so much a job as a calling. Now it was all over and all he had to show for it was a decade old maroon Chevy Cavalier. He had been unceremoniously fired, escorted out of headquarters by security, told never to return. All because of Molly. True, he had allowed himself to be knocked unconscious twice, handcuffed to a dead vampire, and his weapon and car were stolen. If he could find Molly, and take her in, he could redeem himself. He had no wife, no family, no money since he lost all his savings in a Ponzi scheme. He had nothing. His life was his job, and Molly had taken that from him. 

    He got into the car, turned the key in the ignition, then laid his head on the steering wheel. “If it’s the last thing I do, Molly Kwiat, I’m going to find you. There needs to be a reckoning, young lady.” Bulldog sat up, turned the car around, and headed for the main road. Feeling the need to calm himself, he turned the stereo on and put in a cassette, letting the strains of a man’s gentle singing voice waft over him.

    From the back seat, a voice said, “Johnny Mathis? Really? I would not have taken you for a Mathis fan. You look more like a country music shit kicker to me. No offense.”

    Bulldog whirled around.

    “Whoa, whoa, get your damn hands back on the wheel! Are you trying to kill us?”

    Surprisingly, Bulldog did as he was told. “That’s better,” the voice said.

    He stared into the rear view mirror, trying to comprehend what he thought he was seeing behind him. Lying across the entire back seat, with her paws hanging off and her tail dangling down, was Colette, in all her silver furred werewolf beauty.

    “Holy shit,” Bulldog said calmly, for a man who had just seen his first werewolf, and a talking one at that. “Who...how...?”

    “I’m Colette. Sorry to frighten you like that, but I kind of wandered a little too far from home last night, and I’m beat. I couldn’t take another step if I wanted to, and I really don’t want to. So when I saw you snoozing on top of your car, I hopped inside and took a nap. Say, you don’t mind driving me home, do you?”

    Confused, frightened and hung over, words came slowly to Bulldog. “I guess not,” he drawled. “Where is home?”

    “Arbor Woods. About fifty miles down this road up here. Make a left. That’s it, good boy. I think you’ll like it there. Nice town. We have a homeless shelter there that’s nicer than most hotels.”

   
    “I’m not homeless.”

    “Is that why you were sleeping on the hood of your car? Listen, I’m just going to get a little shuteye back here, okay?”

    Bulldog felt the Jack Daniel’s creating chaotic upheaval in his stomach. “You don’t mind if I pull over to throw up, do you?”

    “Do what you gotta do. Just don’t wake me until we get to town.”