Chapter 26 - The Call

    The operatives had burst forth from the closet they were hiding in, ran out the front door of the Van Buren residence and kept running until their lungs and legs couldn’t take it anymore, which turned out to be about three blocks. They had really let themselves go recently.

    They came to a stop on a street corner and looked around to see if anyone was following them. No one was. They felt relieved yet a little disappointed that they weren’t considered worthy of being chased by a hot, gun-wielding woman, or at least someone with a knife or something. Their disappointment was compounded when it dawned on them that Doc, their getaway driver, was nowhere to be seen.

    “I didn’t notice him outside the house,” Cal said. “I don’t see him anywhere, to be honest. Do you think maybe he went to get coffee or something?”

    “No, I think Doc deserted us,” Cap replied.
   
    “Huh,” Hack said, then he spit.

    Doc had indeed deserted his crew. He had been sleeping peacefully inside the Honda Accord when gun shots woke him. Deciding that things had taken a violent turn for the worse, Doc started the car, hit the gas and was out of Arbor Woods by the time his former comrades stopped running. Neither Doc nor the Accord were ever seen again.

    “Boys,” Cap said resignedly, “I don’t think this business is for us anymore.”

    “But Cap, this is the only life we know.” There was a fearful, pleading tone in Cal’s voice. “What will we do? Where will we go?”

    “Well, there is always the circus,” Cap said. “Hack here could be a human cannonball. With his degree in physics he should be able to figure out trajectory and propulsion issues so that he’s not injured.”

    Hack nodded, said “Uh-huh,” then spit again.

    “And you and I, Cal, well, we could always clean up after the animals. It’ll be dirty, smelly, and disgusting, but at least we’ll be in show business.”

    “True,” Cal said.

    “I suppose we should call Mr. Gorey and explain our situation, let him know we’re resigning,” Cap said. With an increasing sense of dread, he pulled a cell phone from his jacket pocket then number one on the speed dial. Lazarus answered after just one ring.

    Cap described the events of the evening and apologized for failing him. He really was genuinely sorry that he and his men couldn’t accomplish their mission. It seemed as if old age was creeping up on them and they could no longer play with the big boys. The thought of not being able to do what they loved depressed him.

    Cap then said that he and the boys were quitting to pursue other options. He listened to Lazarus for a moment, then ended the call. He looked at the two others as the color drained from his face.

    “Mr. Gorey gave us some advice,” Cap told the two. “He told us we need to do something.”

    “Oh, really? What does he think we should do?” Cal asked.

    “Disappear.”

Chapter 25 - Bulldog in a Cage

    The quiet and clean jail cell that Bulldog Armstrong had been sitting in was replaced by a quiet and clean interrogation room. Everything in the Arbor Springs Police Headquarters (in reality a small building with only one holding cell) was immaculate. Crime in Arbor Woods consisted mostly of offenses that merited nothing more than a ticket so an actual arrest hadn’t been made in years. Officer Wembley, however, did not like to be idle, and he was compulsively clean, so his second home was neat as a pin.

    Bulldog sat in a comfortable padded chair in front of a long, dark table. He wasn’t shackled to the table or the chair or to anything at all. He wasn’t handcuffed or restrained in anyway. This is odd, Bulldog thought, I could be a violent criminal who leaps over the table, slugs the cop and runs away.

    “I didn’t feel the need for cuffs, Mr. Bulldog,” Officer Wembley said as he sat down across from his prisoner. “It’s not like you’re going to jump over the table, slug me and run off. Hard to hide in a small town like this if you did.” 

    Okay, that’s really odd, Bulldog thought, it’s like he read my mind. “It’s Agent Armstrong,” Bulldog corrected Wembley.

    Wembley looked sympathetic. “Well, no not really. There is no agent Armstrong that I could find. The federal government has no record of an agent with your name in it’s database. In fact, there doesn’t seem to be any record of you at all. That name you gave me, Myron Aloysius Armstrong? That doesn’t show up anywhere. The social security number you gave me? It was for a guy who died twenty years ago. All that info you gave me is bunk. Myron Armstrong doesn’t exist. Now you may be crazy, in which case we’ll get you some help. Or you may be trying to pull some shit on me, in which case you and I are going to have a problem. And you don’t want to have a problem with me, you understand?”

    Bulldog didn’t say anything, just stared back at him. His mind was reeling. Those bastards, they erased me, he thought. How could they do that to me, after all I’ve done for them?

    “I’ll be straight up with you,” Wembley said, “you cooperate, you’ll be all right. If you’re difficult, things could go wrong. You’re all alone in that cell, nobody knows you’re here, nobody would know if something happens to you. Now I’m going to ask you, straight up, who are you?”

    Bulldog continued to stare, his mouth closed, his lips a thin, hard line. He didn’t move a muscle.

    “All right, you think you’re a tough guy? That’s fine. I’ve dealt with hard asses like you who don’t wanna talk, they all end up the same. Sooner or later, they all talk.”

    Bulldog remained silent and motionless.

    Wembley slammed his hands down on the table. Bulldog didn’t flinch. “Okay, buddy,” Wembley said in a loud, firm voice, “you’ve asked for it. I know how to deal with punks like you.” He stood up, put his hands on hips. “I hate to do this, this is gonna be painful for you, but’s it got to be done. You know what? You’re not getting dessert with your dinner tonight. That’s just the way it’s got to be. You’ll get your dinner, we’re not monsters here in the Arbor Woods P.D., but you sure as hell won’t get a dessert. What’s worse is, I’m gonna throw your ass back in that cell, go in the kitchen and bake up some fresh chocolate chip cookies, because that’s what I do here on Friday nights. You’re gonna smell those cookies baking, and when they’re done you won’t get so much as a crumb. Tough guy, my ass. You’ll break, just like all the rest. Now back in the cell with you.”

    Bulldog went quietly, wondering if maybe he really had lost his mind.

Chapter 24 - Showdowns

    This was the night the operatives would get their man, and their woman too. Not only that, they would return their kidnap victim, Dolly. Martin hadn’t noticed his inflatable friend had been gone. Still, the operatives wanted to put everything right. The plan was to break into Martin’s house, lay in wait for him and Adriana to return home, effortlessly capture them, then deliver the duo to their boss, Lazarus Gorey. The hope was that a (finally) successful completion of this mission would appease Gorey to the extent that he would no longer want to kill them. Because he certainly seemed angry enough the last time they saw him to want them dead. And they did not wish to be dead.

    The operatives spent a few days “casing the joint,” as Hack put it, which meant they put Martin’s house under their surveillance. They would park their nondescript Honda Accord at the other end of the block, watch the comings and goings of the house’s occupants and visitors, keeping a record of when the home was empty, and for how long. Amazingly, they succeeded at this aspect of their job. No one paid the least bit of attention as the four men sat in their car, staring down the street, day after day.

    Knowing that Maria was at work and not expected to arrive home until late, and Martin and Adriana had just left for dinner, the operatives made their move. Cap, Hack and Cal exited the Accord. Each was dressed in a dark suit and carried a Bible. They hoped people would think they were some kind of religious nuts and stay away from them. The three men walked down the street, forming a sort of triangle with Dolly, clothed in a long black dress, at its center. Cap and Cal each had a grip on Dolly’s arms as they attempted a casual saunter. A casual saunter was difficult to achieve. Dolly’s stiffness as well as her outfit made her appear to be an Amish corpse being dragged around by Jehovah’s Witnesses.

    The three men and a life size doll stared straight ahead as they moved along, not wishing to catch the eye of a passerby who might be able to later identify them based on a mere glance. Finally, they made their way to the front door of the Van Buren residence. Ringing the door bell to make sure no one was inside, Cap asked Cal, “Do you have your tools with you?”

    “Uhhmm, no.”

    “What do you mean? Did you leave them in the car?”

    Cal looked sheepish. “I don’t have any tools to get in the house.”

    Cap turned his head slightly toward Cal and spoke quietly so as not to draw attention. “You told me you had tools to break into a house. You said that breaking and entering was one of your specialties.”

    Cal continued to stare straight ahead. “I was lying. I just wanted to impress you. I don’t really know anything about breaking into a house. I broke into a car once when I was a teenager. I used a trash can to smash the windshield. Made an awful mess.”

    “Oh, Lord help me,” was all Cap could say.

    “You two wanna get going already?” Hack said. “We can’t stand here all freakin’ night.”

    “Cal doesn’t have any tools with him,” Cap said over his shoulder. “He doesn’t really know anything about breaking into buildings. Or cars either.”

    Hack glared at Cal. “What the hell, man? You said you were an expert at this shit.”

    “I was lying,” Cal said to Hack. “I just wanted to impress Cap.”

    “Well, that’s just freakin’ great,” Hack said to him. “You’ve got us standing up here  with our thumbs up our butts, poor Dolly has to wear this stupid dress, all because you don’t know how to break into a house when you said you could. What the hell are we going to do now?”

    “Quiet down,” Cap said, “let me think for a minute.”

    “I could throw a trash can through the front window,” Cal offered. The other two simply glared at him. Even Dolly gave off a sense of frustration with him.

    “Did you try the door knob?” Hack asked. “Maybe it’s unlocked.”

    Cap shrugged and put his hand on the knob, gave it a twist. The door opened.

    Cal turned to Hack and asked, “When did you get so smart?”

    “Fuck you.”

    “Shut up, both of you,” Cap said as he crossed the threshold. “Let’s get that doll back to where she belongs and find a place to hide.”

    Closing the front door behind them, Hack ran Dolly upstairs to Martin’s room. The other two looked around for a location within the home that would keep them hidden from view, yet would allow them to spring quickly upon Martin and Adriana when the time was right.

    Cap and Cal were looking around the living room, opening closet doors, checking behind couches and love seats, when Hack came back downstairs.

    “Do you hear that, Cap?”

    “Hear what?”

    “People laughing. Coming towards us, sounds like. Do you think they’re back already?”

    Cap walked over to the bay window, parted the drapes slightly, and peered out.

    “It’s them all right. And they’ve got company. Another man and a woman. That presents a problem. We need to hide, and quick. Double time!”

    The three operatives ran around the room like a freshly beheaded chicken running around a barnyard. When the sound of the voices grew close enough that they seemed to be at the front door, Cap whispered, “In the closet, all of us, now.”

    The trio froze momentarily, then hurried into the coat closet by the front door.

    “Be still, don’t speak, and everything will be all right,” Cap said. “When the time is right, when the other two are gone, I’ll give a signal, and we’ll get the vamp and his girl.”

    “It’s completely dark in here. We won’t see your signal,” Hack said.

    “It’ll be a verbal signal.”

    “Oh.” Hack pondered a moment. “But you said not to talk at all.”

    “Shut up.”

    Hack found it suddenly impossible to shut up. “What if they want to hang up a coat or something?”

    “It’s summer. They’re not wearing coats. Now be quiet.”

    “Cap?” Cal spoke in a thin, nervous voice. “I’m a little claustrophobic. I wish we could have hidden somewhere else.”

    “Shut up, Cal.”

    “Cap, I think Cal’s touching me.”

    “I am not. Oooh, Hack, I told you not to eat those chili dogs. Good grief, there’s no ventilation in here.”

    Their leader had had enough. “Shut up, both of you, right now, or I will kill you with my bare hands.”

    Silence descended in the closet just as the front door swung open.

    “Don’t you lock your doors, Martin?” Molly asked.

    “I forget sometimes,” he replied.

    “He forgets most of the time,” Adriana said. “Thankfully, Arbor Woods is a safe town. You can leave your doors unlocked and come home to find all your belongings are still there.”

    Adriana set their pizza down on the coffee table while Martin brought in some plates and napkins from the kitchen.

    “Who wants a beer?” Adriana asked.

    Settling down on the loveseat next to Molly, Archie said, “I’m more of a wine drinker myself. Anything red.”

    Adriana leveled her eyes at Archie. “Red, huh? Like blood?”

    Taken aback by the comment, Archie didn’t respond. Adriana laughed. “Just kidding, old boy. Martin, do you have any red wine?”

    “I think I have a bottle up in my room.”

    When he came back down, he pulled Adriana aside, near the coat closet. “I don’t remember Dolly wearing a black dress before. Have you been playing dress up with her?”

    “Uhmm, no, that’s not really the way I roll. Perhaps your mother got tired of seeing her in a red leather bra and panties all the time. I mean, show some decency and respect for your mom, Martin.”

    “Whatever.”

    Sure enough, Hack had forgotten to remove the dress from Dolly when be returned her. “Damn it,” he whispered as quietly as he could.

    “Martin, I think I hear voices coming from your closet over there,” Archie said.

    “Probably just the house settling.”
   
    “This house is as old as I am,” Archie said, knowing he was actually at least four hundred years older than the house. “I would think it’s settled in by now.”

    “Whatever.”

    The foursome ate pizza, drank wine, and chatted about books and the bookstore, their favorite music, their backgrounds.

    “So Molly,” Adriana said, “you grew up on a farm? That must have been interesting. What kind of farm was it?”

    “It’s a hog farm. Daddy raised market hogs. That means they’re ready to be sold for the market, as opposed to feeder hogs. Those get sold off to go elsewhere to be fattened up for the market. Most farms where we are, or where I was, raise feeder hogs, but Daddy always preferred market hog farming.”

    “Huh,” Adriana responded. “You’re quite the font of information about hog farming.”
   
    “Sorry. I get a little carried away sometimes. I learned a lot on the farm. Daddy taught me a lot.”

    “Yeah, Daddy sounds like quite a guy.”

    Archie put an arm around Molly’s shoulders. “Yep, she’s not just beautiful, she’s smart too.”

    “Uh-huh,” Adriana grunted as she cast him a slightly disgusted glance before turning her attention back to Molly. “Daddy teach you to hunt, too?”

    “Oh yeah, we always had guns around, but he taught me how to handle them, safely, how to respect the gun and the damage it could do if we didn’t follow the rules of proper gun use.”

    “What did you hunt?” Archie asked.

    “Mostly deer, sometimes pheasant.”

    “Oh, yeah?” Adriana said. “I heard the only way to kill a deer is to put a bullet directly through it’s heart.”

    Molly gave her a blank stare. She wasn’t sure where Adriana was going with this conversation, but she knew she didn’t like the direction it was heading.

    Her face expressionless, Molly said, “Oh, no, you don’t need to be quite that specific when you’re shooting a deer.”

    “What about when you’re killing other things?”

    Archie didn’t like the tone of the conversation either. “All this talk of killing things. Let’s talk about something happy, like how well the Cubs are doing. They’re not in last place anymore. They moved up to fourth.”

    “I’m a Cardinals fan,” Molly said.

    Temporarily aghast at this newfound, unpleasant detail, Archie recovered quickly, hugged Molly around her shoulders, and said, “And here I thought you were perfect. You’re still pretty darn close, though.”

    Molly smiled, Adriana rolled her eyes, Martin grabbed another slice of pizza.

    Looking at Archie, Adriana said, “So, old boy...”

    He interrupted her. “Do you have to keep calling me that?”

    “No, but I’m going to anyway. You’ve been around town for a while. Do you remember the first Mayor Wembley?”

    Archie tipped his head back and laughed. “Oh, yeah, I remember Theo. He was quite a guy.” He stopped chuckling when he remembered that Theodore Wembley became the first mayor of Arbor Woods in the 1870s. “I mean, I remember hearing stories about him. Of course, I wasn’t even born when he was around.”

    “Of course,” Adriana replied. “How silly of me to think that you’re old enough to have been around back then. Then again, I don’t recall you telling us your age. How old are you, Archie?”

    “Oh, I live my life by what Satchel Paige used to say. ‘Age is mind over matter. It don’t matter if you don’t mind.’ I always thought that was pretty clever.”

    “Yeah, clever.”

    With a mouthful of pizza, Martin mumbled to Adriana, “Are you okay?”

    “I’m fine. Couldn’t be better.” She was just about to ask another seemingly odd question when the front door opened. In walked Maria, with James in tow.

    Martin looked at his mother and his best friend and wondered if his suspicions were correct. Still, he remained expressionless as he said, “You’re home early, Mom,” before shoveling another pizza slice into his mouth.

    Maria rested her briefcase against the closet door. Inside the closet, each operative rolled his eyes as they grew impatient, feeling that the perfect time to grab Martin and Adriana might never arrive.

    “James and I needed to go over some things, so I...” Maria stopped mid-sentence. At first Maria appeared flustered, but, quickly regaining composure, her eyes focused laser-like on Archie. His eyes grew wide momentarily, then he looked away, his face reddening.

    “I have to get something from my room. Wait here, James,” Maria said. She bounded up the staircase two steps at a time.

    Archie stretched his arms above his head. “Well, it’s been fun, but it’s getting late. Molly, we really should be going.”

    “Oh, no, Archie,” Molly replied, “let’s stay a while. The night is young.” Maria coming home put a slight crimp in her plans for vampire homicide, but she would think of some way to get the job done tonight.

    “Yeah, Archie,” Adriana said, “the night is young. What’s your hurry, old man?”

    “No hurry,” Archie responded, slumping where he sat. “I’m not an old man,” Archie muttered, but he did indeed suddenly feel old and nervous.

    James looked around the living room, which was filled with a strained air, but he couldn’t figure out why. He noticed the game on the coffee table. “Trivial Pursuit? I haven’t played that since the ‘80s.”

    This attempt at small talk distracted the group from the avenging angel that had descended the stairs. Despite the fierce look in her eye, Maria’s demeanor was calm. Her body was relaxed, her motions fluid and graceful, in odd juxtaposition to the giant weapon she carried in her right hand. At least it seemed gigantic in her small, delicate hands. Glancing up just as she came to the bottom of the stairs, Molly instantly recognized the gun Maria held as being the same type that Bulldog Armstrong had carried.

    “You son of a bitch, I told you what I would do if you ever came back here.” Maria’s voice was emphatic but not wild, unlike her shooting. She lifted the gun swiftly and, before any of the guests in the house could move a muscle, fired off four rounds. Two bullets hit the ceiling fan, one hit a vase in the corner of the room, the fourth flew through a window, lodging itself in a tree on the side of the house. Maria had assumed that the very idea of her owning a gun would be enough to ward off any unwanted visitors, so she had rarely practiced, and hadn’t even fired this gun, or any gun, for decades. She was, on a good day, a very poor shot. For this, Archie was thankful.

    Maria lowered the gun and glowered at Archie. This pause in the shooting gave everyone a chance to react.

    “Holy shit, Mom! What the hell are you doing?” Martin threw the crust of his pizza slice on the table but found it impossible to move more than that. Archie however, still nimble for his age, dove for cover behind the couch, leaving Molly to fend for herself. Shocked by what she was witnessing, she too found it impossible to move.

    James spoke slowing in a comforting tone, “Maria, let’s pause for a minute and take a nice, deep, cleansing breath.”

    Adriana stood up slowly and asked, “Maria, is there something we should know?”

    Meanwhile, in the closet, the three operatives relieved themselves in their pants.

    Maria stopped glaring at the place Archie had been sitting to look at Adriana. “What you should know is that I told that cowardly piece of crap hiding like a skunk back there to never, ever come back here.”

    “I thought maybe you would be a little more forgiving after all these years,” Archie said while still crouching out of sight.

    Stepping around to the back of the couch, Maria pointed the gun at the cowering old man.

    “Uh, Mom, you don’t want to do this. I’m pretty sure murder is still a crime.”

    James still spoke in a soothing voice, “Maria, please, let’s stop and think about what we’re doing here. Maybe there’s another way to resolve this situation.”

    Maria put both hands on the gun to steady her aim. Archie began to whimper like a puppy that needed to be let out. Maria pulled the trigger but no sound came from the gun other than a clicking noise. She was out of ammunition.

    “Damn it! I should have reloaded before I came down here.” Maria threw the gun at Archie, hitting him on the temple. Blood started to pour from the cut on his head. His eyes rolled upwards as he fell to the ground.    

    James ran to Maria’s side. “I think you’ve killed him”

    “Don’t be such a drama queen,” Maria told him.

    “Just a flesh wound,” Archie said without moving or opening his eyes.

    “Told you,” Maria said. “It’ll take more than just a bump on the head to kill him. Isn’t that right, Archie?”

    He choose to remain silent on the subject until Maria kicked him in the butt.

    “Oww! I know you’re angry, but you don’t need to kick me.”

    Saying she was going to reload, Maria bent over to pick up the gun, but Adriana moved like lightning and got to the weapon first.

    “Mama Maria, I’ve never seen you like this,” she said. “I wouldn’t mind seeing Mister Creepy here bite the dust, but perhaps we talk the matter over first. Besides, if you kill him, then we need to dispose of the body, there’s a lot of witnesses in the room, and if somebody calls the police, think of the paperwork.”

    Maria nodded. “Yeah, I do hate paperwork. That’s one of the reasons I’m teaching James to take over the store.”

    Martin came to life now. He stood up and said, “You’re what now?”

    Waving a hand at him, Maria said, “Oh, Martin, you’re never going to want to run the bookstore. I’ve tried to get you to learn the operations, but you’re just not interested.”

    Looking hurt, he said, “But, I’m your son. It should be mine.”

    “Then you should have at least expressed an interest in it. You’ll still be taken care of, because, like you say, you’re my son. But James will run the store.”

    “Could I get a bandage or something?” Archie, now in a fetal position on the floor, was holding a handkerchief to his wound.

    Maria looked at him. “Can’t you just bleed to death quietly?”

    Molly finally spoke up. “I smell urine.” All eyes turned to her. Even Archie sat up and peered over the top of the couch.

    Adriana asked doubtfully, “You really think you smell urine?”

    “Yes, really.” She pointed toward the closet. “It’s coming from over there I think.” She walked over, opened the closet door. Brushing Molly aside, the operatives swiftly stepped out of their hidey-hole and headed towards the front door.

    “We can explain,” Cal said.

    “We were interested in saving your souls,” Cap said as he waved the Bible in his hand.

    “Uh-huh,” Hack mumbled.

    “The front door was open...” Cap was nearly shouting now. He paused, his mind straining to think of some reasonable explanation as to why they were hiding in a coat closet. “Yeah, we walked in, and uh, got trapped in your closet. Gotta go.”

    In a great hurry now, all three operatives tried to exit through the door at the same time. Stooge-like, they fell backward, regrouped, then ran through the front door single file. There was a pause as everyone in the room simply stared at the open door.

    “Missionaries,” Archie said. “How did people like that ever find their way around the world, much less convert anybody?”

    There were nods and shrugs all around as everyone accepted three Bible carrying men escaping from a closet as normal. The situation did prove useful however, as it diffused the massive amount of tension in the living room.

    “Well, now what?” Martin asked.

    “Now we drink some wine, and lots of it,” his mother responded.

Chapter 23 - The Meet-up

    Archie Greenway felt reborn, not in the religious sense (he had his doubts about deities) but in the sense that his life was renewed and energized. He was able to feel the joys of life again, and Molly Kwiat was one of those joys. The idea that a five hundred year old vampire might have a chance with a fresh faced twenty-something boggled the mind. Archie understood that he should graciously accept his good fortune, but being gracious was never one of his strong suits.

    Questions ran through Archie’s mind. If the chance arose, when was it proper in these modern times to attempt to get to first base with a girl? Just where exactly was first base anyway, not to mention second and third? (He had a pretty good idea what home plate was, though, and he was eager to get there.) What about this whole vampire thing? Do I reveal the fact that I’m a blood sucking fiend? If so, when  is it okay to whip out the fangs? And do I ask permission first, or just sink them in and see how things go after that?

    Despite the questions rolling around in his mind, Archie strode confidently along the village streets clutching a bouquet of roses. It may have been old fashioned to bring a date flowers but he was an old fashioned kind of guy. His heart beat a little faster when Molly came into view. So happy was he to see her standing outside the bookstore that he almost skipped along the sidewalk as he grew nearer.

    Archie smiled broadly as he walked up to her. “I hope I haven’t kept you waiting.”

    “Oh, no, I just got off work.”

    As Archie gazed at her, the soft evening light made Molly even more beautiful than he remembered her. At that moment, grinning at her like a schoolboy, he thought he couldn’t wait until their first kiss.

    Molly, a slight smile playing upon her lips, returned Archie’s gaze, and thought how she couldn’t wait to kill him.

    Handing her the roses, Archie asked, “Do you like Italian? I know a place not too far from here.”

    Almost before he could finish his sentence Molly was looking over his shoulder and saying, “Hey, isn’t that Maria’s son and his girlfriend, or whatever she is?” Molly had felt their presence even before seeing them, lending credence to her suspicion that they were vampires. After a hard day of sitting around the house watching “Jeopardy” on DVR, Martin and Adriana had worked up an appetite and were heading to the cafe for Martin’s habitual dessert before dinner.

    Without taking his eyes off Molly, Archie said, “Yeah, that’s them all right. Anyway, we should get moving. I’m sure you’re hungry after a long day at work.”

    To his chagrin, Molly waved at Adriana and Martin and called them over. “Hi, guys, remember me? I’m Molly, the new girl. We met this morning inside the store.”

    Martin said nothing, but Adriana, ever the people person, replied warmly, “Of course we remember. How are you, Molly? How was your first day on the job?”

    “It was great,” Molly gushed, “it’s really a neat place to work. I’m so glad your mother hired me, Martin.”

    Distracted by the smell of fresh baked brownies, Martin could only mumble, “Uh-huh.”

    In an instant, Molly’s head began to tingle. The tingle quickly ran down her spine, then raced down her legs until her toes almost twitched. So excited with the idea that had popped into her head, she was almost glowing: What if I could kill all three of these blood suckers in one night?

    “Say, how would you guys like to join us for dinner?” she asked them. “Archie and I were just heading out. We’d love it if you could join us.” She turned to the old man. “Wouldn’t that be great, Archie?”

    He had managed to remain stone faced while Molly suggested the idea to the other couple. Now he used all his strength to not say, “No fucking way. I want to be alone with you!” Seeing her youthful enthusiasm melted his heart. His face softened and he said half-heartedly, “Well, I guess that would be great.”

    Removing his concentration from the brownies for a moment, Martin asked, “Aren’t you two on a date or something?”

    “Well, yeah,” Molly replied, still exceedingly cheerful, “but that doesn’t mean we can’t spend time making new friends. I mean, I’ve only just moved here, so I don’t really know anybody, and Archie hasn’t been getting out lately, so it would be nice to get to know you and Adriana.”

    Martin looked at Archie, who was concealing his disappointment well, then shrugged. “Okay.”

    Adriana was more receptive. “I think that would be fun, all of us together for dinner. In fact, I have an idea. How about we all go to Martin’s house, order a pizza and sit around and shoot the breeze. After dinner, we could play Trivial Pursuit.”

    “I haven’t played that since the ‘80s,” Martin said.

    “Neither have I,” Adriana replied. “I was never any good at it, but I really enjoyed asking the questions. I miss that.” She looked wistful for a moment then said decisively, “Well, it’s settled then. Let’s head to Martin’s place.”

    “Cool,” Molly said, “It does sound like fun, doesn’t it, Archie?”

    With hundreds of years of experience, Archie was good at lying. He put a believable smile on his face, looked Molly in the eyes, and said, “Yes, Molly, it sure does.”

    As they walked to his home, Martin thought, I didn’t know I still have a Trivial Pursuit game somewhere in the house.

    This should be an interesting evening, Adriana thought.

    Archie wondered just how long it was going to take to get Molly naked.

    As for Molly, there was a constant smile on her face as she planned the deaths of her three companions.

Chapter 22 - Another Bulldog Moment

    Bulldog Armstrong checked himself in a full length mirror. His dark suit was unwrinkled, his shirt a gleaming white, and the taut skin of his face was as smooth as if no hair had ever grown there. Sunlight formed what seemed to be a halo around his head, even though he was indoors. In reality, Bulldog knew he was still asleep, drifting along from a deep REM state to a point in time just before he opened his eyes. This drifting was his favorite part of the day, when he saw himself exactly as he wished to be, and possibly still was. Those dreams, nightmares really, where he was unemployed and unkempt, sleeping in, sometimes on, his car, those were nothing more than elements in a fictional play running in his head. And the werewolf? What a silly creature to intrude on his dreams. When he awoke, the play would be over.

    A grin formed as Bulldog felt the warmth of the sun on his face. In less than a minute he would open his eyes, be awake and alert and ready to face a new day. He drew a deep breath and slowly his eyelids parted. Lifting his head, he caught sight of himself in the mirror. The rearview mirror of his car, to be exact. Bulldog had slept in the driver’s seat of his car. His face was haggard and unshaven, and dark circles enveloped his eyes. It dawned on him that the nightmare was real. He was unemployed and living in his car. His heart sank.

    “Shit,” he muttered.

    A female voice came from the rear of the car. “Well, you’re a grumpy one in the mornings, aren’t you. I have to admit you do look a little rough.”

    Bulldog’s head spun around so quickly he hurt his neck, which was stiff from sleeping sitting up in the car. “Ow! Shit!” He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck.

    “Careful,” Colette, now in human form and quite naked, said. “You don’t want to hurt yourself moving your head so quickly like that. And maybe lay off the potty mouth a little bit. I am a lady, you know.”

    Hands resting on her knees, Colette sat in the middle of the back seat looking calmly at Bulldog. She looked remarkably well rested for a half human, half animal that had slept off some sort of bender in a stranger’s car.

    “You know you’re in the park, right?” she asked him.

    Bulldog shut his eyes and ran a hand over his face. “Yeah, I know the car is parked.”

    “No, I said you’re in the park. You’re in the middle of the sidwalk.”

    Sure enough, Bulldog had somehow brought his car to rest on a pathway running through a grove of elm and cedar trees.

    “Shit,” he said again as he looked out the windows of the car at the trees surrounding him. “I must have fallen asleep while I was driving and ended up here.”

    “Good thing you didn’t kill somebody, driving like that,” Colette told him. “Of course, I haven’t checked under the car yet. Might be a body under there.”

    This time Bulldog turned slowly to look at his passenger. “You know, you’re not helping matters any. I feel bad enough as it is. Usually I’m a pretty good driver. Don’t know what’s wrong with me anymore.” He paused to look closely at Colette. “Just who the hell are you again? How did you get in my car? Where did you come from?”

    A Mona Lisa Smile appeared on Colette’s face. “You’ve got a lot of questions. One of these days I’ll answer them, but if you haven’t noticed yet, I’m bare assed naked.”

    Bulldog looked down and saw that she was telling the truth.

    “Hey, buddy my eyes are up here. This is the problem with being a werewolf, you’re always tearing up your clothes, then you end up naked in some dude’s car.”

    “I’m not a dude, I’m an agent of the United States government. At least I was.”

    “Uh-huh, whatever. I need to cover myself with something. Give me your jacket.”

    “I am not giving you my jacket. This is the only suit I own and I need the jacket.”

    “Give me the damn jacket.” Her tone of voice was seriously no nonsense. It made his shiver slightly, then he did as he was told and handed over the jacket.

    “Thank you,” she said as she slipped it on. “Fits perfectly. Much better than having nothing on at all. Good thing too, ‘cause it looks like we’ve got company.”

    Bulldog glanced in the rear view mirror and saw a police officer walking toward the car. It was Phil Wembley, the lone constable of Arbor Woods. “Shit,” he said for the fourth time in less than five minutes.

    Phil rapped his large knuckles on the driver side window. Bulldog lowered the window and asked in the most innocent voice he could muster, “Can I help you officer?”

    At six feet, four inches Phil had to bend at his knees and waist to get a closer look at the person who had the nerve to ask such a question. “Sir, you do know that cars are not allowed on the pedestrian walkways in the park, right?”

    With no badge or paperwork to identify him as a federal agent, Bulldog was, for the first time since he was a teenager, nervous talking to a cop. He wasn’t quite sure how he was going to get out of this predicament. “Ah, yes, officer, I’m sorry about    this. I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere and...”

    Phil stood up tall again. “Would you take the keys out of the ignition and step out of the vehicle please?”

    Bulldog blinked up at him. “What?” he asked timidly.

    “Step out of the car. Now.”

    “Officer, I think I can explain everything.” Bulldog knew he had no logical explanation for landing his car in the middle of the park and having a now mostly naked woman in the back seat, but he had to try and buy some time to think of something. Anything.

    “Get out of the car.” Another no-nonsense tone of voice, this time coming from a hulking officer of the law. Again, Bulldog did as he was commanded.

    “Officer, I know this looks bad, but I’m a federal agent, well I used to be but there was an incident with me losing my gun, that will all get straightened out someday, soon I hope, but anyway, I’m searching for a girl, see, the one who stole my gun, and I...” Bulldog realized he was babbling. He decided to shut his mouth.

    Arms crossed over his chest, Phil had been listening intently, quickly coming to the conclusion that this guy was off his rocker but probably harmless as long as he wasn’t behind the wheel of a car. When Bulldog’s babbling ceased, Phil asked him, “Do you have anything that would identify you as a federal agent, past or present?”

    “Well, no, they didn’t leave me with anything when I got fired.” Bulldog was beginning to sound forlorn. His voice sounded suddenly like that of a child whose parents had forgotten him at the grocery store.

    “Do you have a driver’s license?”

    Bulldog brightened somewhat. “Yes, of course, it’s in my wallet.” He thrust his hands into his pants pockets but came up empty. “Must be in my jacket. Can I have my jacket back for a minute please?” He looked into the car but it was empty.

    Dumbfounded, Bulldog began to doubt if there had ever actually been someone in the car with him. “Officer, there was a woman with me, Babette or Nanette or something, and she, uh, well, she needed my jacket because she was cold.” He prudently decided to leave out the parts about her being a werewolf who transformed into a naked woman. “Anyway, my wallet is in that jacket, and she doesn’t seem to be here anymore. I really don’t know where she went.” He looked around him. “Honest, she was just here.”

    All this only confirmed Phil’s thesis that Bulldog was mentally unstable. Slowly, as he didn’t want to spook Bulldog, Phil unfolded his arms. He spoke in a gentle tone, “Sir, I’d like you to come with me.”

    “Officer, I can explain everything.” Bulldog knew he could explain nothing. He turned and made a run for it. Despite the fact that he was in a tree filled park in a town called Arbor Woods, it didn’t dawn on him that if he wasn’t paying attention he would run smack dab into a tree at full speed. Which he did. The former federal agent met a decades old cedar, bringing Bulldog to a sudden halt. He stood stock still for a moment, then fell backwards. Out cold, again.

    Phil Wembley walked to where Bulldog lay and glanced down at him.

    “Watch out for that tree, sir.”