“What the hell does that mean, he sleeps with the squirrels? You saying he sleeps in a big nest in a tree? Or are you saying my son is dead?” Archie looked at Bulldog as if he were insane or stupid or both.
“My God, you think Martin is dead?” Maria cried.
“Maria, don’t worry,” Phil said, putting an arm around her. “Martin is fine. He’s not dead, he’s just been kidnapped by an evil vampire.” Phil winced as the words left his mouth, knowing they didn’t sound nearly as comforting as he wanted them to.
“He doesn’t literally sleep with the squirrels,” Bulldog stated as if he were talking to slow children. “It is a message though. As you know, Archie, most vampires do not want to feed on humans so they switch over to the animal world.”
Archie wrinkled his nose at the thought of sinking his fangs into what he thought of as disgusting vermin. “Not me, pal. I bite human or I don’t bite at all.”
“Well, there are irresponsible snobbish types like you” Bulldog said with disdain, “but most prefer to feed on animals, particularly those of the nuisance variety, such as squirrels and other rodents, which are in abundance in many places.” He looked down at the morbid tableau on the table. “It looks to me as if the squirrels in this town are tired of being meals and they want someone in this house to know it.”
“How on earth did they do this, all this wrapping?” asked Archie. “It’s not like they have opposable thumbs.”
“You’d be surprised what the little devils can do when they work together,” Bulldog responded.
Maria looked up at Phil with eyes full of concern and confusion. “Do you think Martin has been eating squirrels?”
“We’re not even sure at this point that Martin is in reality a vampire. It’s more likely that Adriana is the one who’s been feasting on squirrels.”
“It’s hard to imagine Martin doing that,” Maria made a face as if she were going to be sick, “sticking his teeth into an animal. Aside from being really squeamish, it would be too gamey for him. I mean, for heaven’s sake, he wouldn’t even eat liver when he was a kid.”
Bulldog was growing impatient. He wanted to find the missing couple, perhaps nab a rogue vampire or two, but more importantly, he wanted to find Molly. “We need to get moving before the sulphur odor evaporates.”
“You’re right,” Phil said. “Maria, I promise we’ll find Martin and bring him back.”
“I’m going with you.”
Phil tried to sound sympathetic yet firm. “Maria, you know I can’t allow that.”
“You don’t have a choice. If I don’t go with you, I’ll go on my own. This is my son we’re talking about and there’s nothing you can do to stop me from trying to find him.”
“What is the point of being a cop if I can’t boss people around?” Phil whined. He rolled his eyes and said, “Fine. Whatever. You can go. Why don’t we all go?”
“That might not be a bad idea,” James said. “Archie may have some insight into this vampire’s mind, and I sure as hell am not staying here alone.”
Phil threw his arms up in a sign of surrender and told everyone they could all fit in his police car. Stepping out the front door he found Colette, in wolf form, sitting on the stoop.
She looked up at Phil with sexy, soulful eyes. “Hey, big fella, I hear you got yourself some vampire problems.” She looked past him and nodded hello to Bulldog, who stood with his mouth agape. He was more than a little surprised to see his former passenger again.
“Colette, this is not a good time right now,” Phil said.
“There really are werewolves,” Bulldog said to no one in particular. “I thought I dreamt that whole thing.”
“You work with vampires all day and you’re shocked to find out that werewolves exist?” Archie asked.
Despite being flustered at seeing Colette, Bulldog temporarily regained his composure. “You know this woman, or whatever, Officer Wembley?”
Colette bared her teeth, mimicking a sly smile, as best a wolf could. “Oh, Phil knows me all right.” She walked around him, rubbing her furry body up against his legs. “Isn’t that right, Officer Wembley?” Then she sat down again and laughed.
“Okay, this is getting a little weird,” James said, feeling a little uncomfortable after viewing that public display of inter-species affection.
Not taking his eyes off Colette, Phil answered Bulldog’s question. “Yeah, I know her, Agent Armstrong.”
“Ask her if she has my jacket,” Bulldog said, “and my ID card.”
Colette threw a glance Bulldog’s way. “You know, I’m sitting right here. Why don’t you ask me yourself?”
Feeling rattled, Bulldog asked her, in a very polite tone, if she had his missing belongings. Colette went back out on the stoop and retrieved Bulldog’s stuff by carrying them in her mouth and dropping them at his feet.
“Thank you,” Bulldog said as he picked up his jacket, trying hard to avoid the areas that had werewolf drool on them.
Walking around the room, Colette said, “You need my help, Phil. The sulphur smell is gone, at least to you guys. As you know, members of the canine family, and that includes me at this particular moment, have an excellent sense of smell. I can still follow the sulphur trail.”
Phil put his hands on his hips in a scolding manner. “How long have you been out there? I told you not to listen in on people’s conversations like that.”
“Oh, but you’re not just any old people, Phil,” Colette said as she ambled up and sniffed his crotch.
Phil stifled a giggle as he gently pushed Colette’s snout away from his package. “All right, all right, you can help.” He looked around the room. “Okay, everybody, let’s move out.”
“My God, you think Martin is dead?” Maria cried.
“Maria, don’t worry,” Phil said, putting an arm around her. “Martin is fine. He’s not dead, he’s just been kidnapped by an evil vampire.” Phil winced as the words left his mouth, knowing they didn’t sound nearly as comforting as he wanted them to.
“He doesn’t literally sleep with the squirrels,” Bulldog stated as if he were talking to slow children. “It is a message though. As you know, Archie, most vampires do not want to feed on humans so they switch over to the animal world.”
Archie wrinkled his nose at the thought of sinking his fangs into what he thought of as disgusting vermin. “Not me, pal. I bite human or I don’t bite at all.”
“Well, there are irresponsible snobbish types like you” Bulldog said with disdain, “but most prefer to feed on animals, particularly those of the nuisance variety, such as squirrels and other rodents, which are in abundance in many places.” He looked down at the morbid tableau on the table. “It looks to me as if the squirrels in this town are tired of being meals and they want someone in this house to know it.”
“How on earth did they do this, all this wrapping?” asked Archie. “It’s not like they have opposable thumbs.”
“You’d be surprised what the little devils can do when they work together,” Bulldog responded.
Maria looked up at Phil with eyes full of concern and confusion. “Do you think Martin has been eating squirrels?”
“We’re not even sure at this point that Martin is in reality a vampire. It’s more likely that Adriana is the one who’s been feasting on squirrels.”
“It’s hard to imagine Martin doing that,” Maria made a face as if she were going to be sick, “sticking his teeth into an animal. Aside from being really squeamish, it would be too gamey for him. I mean, for heaven’s sake, he wouldn’t even eat liver when he was a kid.”
Bulldog was growing impatient. He wanted to find the missing couple, perhaps nab a rogue vampire or two, but more importantly, he wanted to find Molly. “We need to get moving before the sulphur odor evaporates.”
“You’re right,” Phil said. “Maria, I promise we’ll find Martin and bring him back.”
“I’m going with you.”
Phil tried to sound sympathetic yet firm. “Maria, you know I can’t allow that.”
“You don’t have a choice. If I don’t go with you, I’ll go on my own. This is my son we’re talking about and there’s nothing you can do to stop me from trying to find him.”
“What is the point of being a cop if I can’t boss people around?” Phil whined. He rolled his eyes and said, “Fine. Whatever. You can go. Why don’t we all go?”
“That might not be a bad idea,” James said. “Archie may have some insight into this vampire’s mind, and I sure as hell am not staying here alone.”
Phil threw his arms up in a sign of surrender and told everyone they could all fit in his police car. Stepping out the front door he found Colette, in wolf form, sitting on the stoop.
She looked up at Phil with sexy, soulful eyes. “Hey, big fella, I hear you got yourself some vampire problems.” She looked past him and nodded hello to Bulldog, who stood with his mouth agape. He was more than a little surprised to see his former passenger again.
“Colette, this is not a good time right now,” Phil said.
“There really are werewolves,” Bulldog said to no one in particular. “I thought I dreamt that whole thing.”
“You work with vampires all day and you’re shocked to find out that werewolves exist?” Archie asked.
Despite being flustered at seeing Colette, Bulldog temporarily regained his composure. “You know this woman, or whatever, Officer Wembley?”
Colette bared her teeth, mimicking a sly smile, as best a wolf could. “Oh, Phil knows me all right.” She walked around him, rubbing her furry body up against his legs. “Isn’t that right, Officer Wembley?” Then she sat down again and laughed.
“Okay, this is getting a little weird,” James said, feeling a little uncomfortable after viewing that public display of inter-species affection.
Not taking his eyes off Colette, Phil answered Bulldog’s question. “Yeah, I know her, Agent Armstrong.”
“Ask her if she has my jacket,” Bulldog said, “and my ID card.”
Colette threw a glance Bulldog’s way. “You know, I’m sitting right here. Why don’t you ask me yourself?”
Feeling rattled, Bulldog asked her, in a very polite tone, if she had his missing belongings. Colette went back out on the stoop and retrieved Bulldog’s stuff by carrying them in her mouth and dropping them at his feet.
“Thank you,” Bulldog said as he picked up his jacket, trying hard to avoid the areas that had werewolf drool on them.
Walking around the room, Colette said, “You need my help, Phil. The sulphur smell is gone, at least to you guys. As you know, members of the canine family, and that includes me at this particular moment, have an excellent sense of smell. I can still follow the sulphur trail.”
Phil put his hands on his hips in a scolding manner. “How long have you been out there? I told you not to listen in on people’s conversations like that.”
“Oh, but you’re not just any old people, Phil,” Colette said as she ambled up and sniffed his crotch.
Phil stifled a giggle as he gently pushed Colette’s snout away from his package. “All right, all right, you can help.” He looked around the room. “Okay, everybody, let’s move out.”
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