“Mr. Van Buren, I see that you’ve recovered,” Lazarus said as he walked into the lab, Archie slung over one shoulder, and noticed that Martin had regained consciousness.
Groggy eyed, Martin looked up at them, wondering what was happening. “Archie? He’s got you, too?”
“Do you think you could call me ‘dad’?” Archie asked as Lazarus shoved him down into a chair.
“No.”
“Fair enough. I just thought it would be nice if I could call you ‘son,’ that’s all.”
“We’ll see how things go,” Martin replied, perking up a bit.
With a swiftness that made his movements barely visible to those watching, Lazarus strapped Archie to the chair, then pulled up his sleeve to reveal a pale, bony arm that would receive the injection of vampire reversal serum. Suddenly, he stopped what he was doing, a quizzical look on his face. He turned in the direction of a crunching sound.
“What’s that crunching sound? Martin, are you eating something?”
Unable to speak with a full mouth, Martin nodded.
“What in heaven’s name are you eating?”
Martin swallowed, then answered, “Popcorn.”
Incredulous, Lazarus asked, “Popcorn? Where did you get popcorn?
“I had some in my pants pocket.”
“You’re strapped to the chair. How could you get popcorn out of your pants pocket and into your mouth?”
“It wasn’t easy.”
Lazarus had no idea how to respond to this food eating machine that he had brought into his home, so he decided to concentrate on other matters.
“I’ve looked at your blood tests. They indicate a dangerously high level of cholesterol, and your tricglyceride numbers are off the charts, yet your blood pressure and pulse are normal. You remain a medical mystery. Still, I believe your blood can be helpful to me. We’re going to inject Archie here with it, observe him, see what happens. I feel that he will lose his vampire instincts.”
Adriana studied the big man’s face. “I’m confused,” she said. “Why would you want to rid the world of vampires? These are your people.”
“The world will never be fully rid of them. I’m merely providing a choice. I’m giving the world genuine free will.”
“Always had a God complex,” Archie muttered.
Lazarus glared at him. “I’m simply a blood sucking fiend with a good business sense.”
“What about your minions?” Adriana asked. “Will you give them genuine free will, or keep them as your slaves?”
His head tilted back as Lazarus roared with laughter. “They are hardly slaves. More like a well paid army. What I have in my employ are legions of vampires, well educated, well trained, physically and mentally fit, and loyal, of course, only to me.”
Martin was aghast at the idea of this lunatic taking over the world by using his own blood as a tool of conquest.
“You know there’s people looking for me,” Martin said with a tone of anger.
“Us, Martin, they’re looking for us,” Adriana said. “What am I, invisible here?”
He looked over at her. “Sorry. I meant us. Archie too.” Martin turned his attention back to Lazarus. “They’ll find me, us, and they certainly aren’t going to let you get away with this scheme of yours.”
“I’m not too worried about that little group of misfits stopping me. Augusta will take care of them.”
“By ‘take care of them,’ do you mean something like giving them snacks and warm blankets, or ‘take care of them’ like in a gangster movie?” Adriana asked.
Lazarus offered a slight smile, and said, “Not so much a gangster movie as a terribly bloody, violent horror film.”
“I was kind of hoping they would get snacks and warm blankets,” Adriana said.
Martin felt fear rise from his toes to the tip of his head. “My mother is with them. I just know it.” He looked at Lazarus with a helpless sort of hatred. “I won’t let you hurt her.”
“There’s nothing you can do to stop me.” Lazarus Gorey’s demeanor became placid. “Augusta will take care of them and then I will deal with you people. Not only that, but I’ve already communicated with my legions to put my plan into operation.”
“Why would you do that now?” Adriana asked. “You don’t know for sure that the serum will work.”
“True,” Lazarus replied, “but patience is not one of my virtues.”
“You don’t have any virtues,” Archie said.
Adriana, frustrated and angry now, yelled at the old vampire strapped in the chair. “Archie, can’t you do something? Use your mental powers to stop those blood sucking storm troopers. You’ve been around as long as this fat bastard, you should be just as strong.”
“Should be,” Lazarus chuckled, “but isn’t. Saving the day, that’s just not his style, is it, Archie?”
Archie looked down at the floor. “Still bitter, after all these years. Centuries have passed and you haven’t let go. That’s just not healthy.”
Lazarus appeared malevolent. “What do you know about healthy, you quack, you fraud? You didn’t live up to your Hippocratic oath as a doctor, and you didn’t live up to all the good that a vampire could have done. You let her die.”
Archie looked up at Lazarus with weary eyes filled with the pain of an ancient wound.“She wanted to go, Laz. She didn’t want to be one of us. She was very sick and very tired, and her time on this earth had come to an end. She was a normal, and normals die. That happens. You have to accept that. Sooner or later you just have to accept that.”
“Who died? What the heck are two guys talking about?” Adriana asked.
Lazarus wheeled around. “He let our mother die a horrible, miserable death. He could have turned her. That would have saved her, but instead he just let her die.”
Stunned, Martin and Adriana were momentarily silent. Finally, Adriana asked the obvious. “You mean you two are brothers?”
Martin looked at Archie. “You mean this evil son-of-a-bitch is my uncle?”
Archie nodded. “I’m afraid so, Martin.”
Martin was bewildered by this new information. “That’s just great. A vampire dad, and an evil vampire uncle.”
“Hey,” Archie said, half smiling, his eyes moistening, “you called me dad.”
“Well, technically speaking, it is a fact. You are my father.”
“Father and son,” Lazarus sneered. “Finally, both of you will be good for something.” He turned and fussed about with syringes and blood filled vials.
Adriana asked Archie, “What happened to your mother?”
“She had what we used to call consumption. It was pulmonary tuberculosis. This was the 1500s...”
“Jesus Christ, you are old,” Adriana interrupted.
“Yeah, anyway, back then people died young. I had been wandering the countryside, doing what vampires do, and when I came home, I found Mother was sick, very sick, beyond the medical help of the day.”
Without looking up from his work, Lazarus spoke through gritted teeth. “You could have helped her. You chose not to.”
Archie continued. “Mother knew what I had become. She knew I was a vampire and could transform her into one, possibly saving her life, although probably not. Mother was pretty far gone by then. She didn’t want to be turned though. She said it was unnatural, a human living forever like that, eating blood, as she put it. Mother made a choice. I felt I had to respect it. Laz disagreed. He wanted to save her no matter what, even if she didn’t want to be saved.”
“Why didn’t he put the bite on her then?” Adriana asked.
“Laz was still a normal, or as normal as he ever was,” Archie said. “When I refused to intervene, he went running off to look for some other blood sucker to do the job. He found one all right, up in the North Country. Turned Laz, then sent him packing. By the time he got home, Mother was gone. At least we were able to give her a decent Christian burial. More than we’ll ever get.”
“Where was your father while all of this was going on?” Martin inquired.
“We have different fathers, so we’re only half-brothers. Never knew who our fathers were. Neither of them stuck around. Sixteenth century England wasn’t such a great place. It sucked really. Lots of poverty, lots of fighting, and dirt and mud were everywhere. Very messy. We live in much cleaner times now, thank goodness.”
Lazarus turned from the table. “Enough reminiscing. There’s work to be done. Archie, I hope you’re not as squeamish about getting shots as your son here, although I do remember you had hemophobia.”
“Been over that for hundreds of years now,” Archie said.
“Well, goody for you.”
“Do you really think you’re going to get away with all of this?” Martin asked.
“Oh yes, yes indeed. I think I will, as always, be very successful. By this time tomorrow, my legions will have loosed a bloody chaos all around the world. Then I can begin to make my fortune.”
Lazarus was about to inject Archie with the serum when the laboratory door came flying off it’s hinges, landing on the floor with a dull thud.
Groggy eyed, Martin looked up at them, wondering what was happening. “Archie? He’s got you, too?”
“Do you think you could call me ‘dad’?” Archie asked as Lazarus shoved him down into a chair.
“No.”
“Fair enough. I just thought it would be nice if I could call you ‘son,’ that’s all.”
“We’ll see how things go,” Martin replied, perking up a bit.
With a swiftness that made his movements barely visible to those watching, Lazarus strapped Archie to the chair, then pulled up his sleeve to reveal a pale, bony arm that would receive the injection of vampire reversal serum. Suddenly, he stopped what he was doing, a quizzical look on his face. He turned in the direction of a crunching sound.
“What’s that crunching sound? Martin, are you eating something?”
Unable to speak with a full mouth, Martin nodded.
“What in heaven’s name are you eating?”
Martin swallowed, then answered, “Popcorn.”
Incredulous, Lazarus asked, “Popcorn? Where did you get popcorn?
“I had some in my pants pocket.”
“You’re strapped to the chair. How could you get popcorn out of your pants pocket and into your mouth?”
“It wasn’t easy.”
Lazarus had no idea how to respond to this food eating machine that he had brought into his home, so he decided to concentrate on other matters.
“I’ve looked at your blood tests. They indicate a dangerously high level of cholesterol, and your tricglyceride numbers are off the charts, yet your blood pressure and pulse are normal. You remain a medical mystery. Still, I believe your blood can be helpful to me. We’re going to inject Archie here with it, observe him, see what happens. I feel that he will lose his vampire instincts.”
Adriana studied the big man’s face. “I’m confused,” she said. “Why would you want to rid the world of vampires? These are your people.”
“The world will never be fully rid of them. I’m merely providing a choice. I’m giving the world genuine free will.”
“Always had a God complex,” Archie muttered.
Lazarus glared at him. “I’m simply a blood sucking fiend with a good business sense.”
“What about your minions?” Adriana asked. “Will you give them genuine free will, or keep them as your slaves?”
His head tilted back as Lazarus roared with laughter. “They are hardly slaves. More like a well paid army. What I have in my employ are legions of vampires, well educated, well trained, physically and mentally fit, and loyal, of course, only to me.”
Martin was aghast at the idea of this lunatic taking over the world by using his own blood as a tool of conquest.
“You know there’s people looking for me,” Martin said with a tone of anger.
“Us, Martin, they’re looking for us,” Adriana said. “What am I, invisible here?”
He looked over at her. “Sorry. I meant us. Archie too.” Martin turned his attention back to Lazarus. “They’ll find me, us, and they certainly aren’t going to let you get away with this scheme of yours.”
“I’m not too worried about that little group of misfits stopping me. Augusta will take care of them.”
“By ‘take care of them,’ do you mean something like giving them snacks and warm blankets, or ‘take care of them’ like in a gangster movie?” Adriana asked.
Lazarus offered a slight smile, and said, “Not so much a gangster movie as a terribly bloody, violent horror film.”
“I was kind of hoping they would get snacks and warm blankets,” Adriana said.
Martin felt fear rise from his toes to the tip of his head. “My mother is with them. I just know it.” He looked at Lazarus with a helpless sort of hatred. “I won’t let you hurt her.”
“There’s nothing you can do to stop me.” Lazarus Gorey’s demeanor became placid. “Augusta will take care of them and then I will deal with you people. Not only that, but I’ve already communicated with my legions to put my plan into operation.”
“Why would you do that now?” Adriana asked. “You don’t know for sure that the serum will work.”
“True,” Lazarus replied, “but patience is not one of my virtues.”
“You don’t have any virtues,” Archie said.
Adriana, frustrated and angry now, yelled at the old vampire strapped in the chair. “Archie, can’t you do something? Use your mental powers to stop those blood sucking storm troopers. You’ve been around as long as this fat bastard, you should be just as strong.”
“Should be,” Lazarus chuckled, “but isn’t. Saving the day, that’s just not his style, is it, Archie?”
Archie looked down at the floor. “Still bitter, after all these years. Centuries have passed and you haven’t let go. That’s just not healthy.”
Lazarus appeared malevolent. “What do you know about healthy, you quack, you fraud? You didn’t live up to your Hippocratic oath as a doctor, and you didn’t live up to all the good that a vampire could have done. You let her die.”
Archie looked up at Lazarus with weary eyes filled with the pain of an ancient wound.“She wanted to go, Laz. She didn’t want to be one of us. She was very sick and very tired, and her time on this earth had come to an end. She was a normal, and normals die. That happens. You have to accept that. Sooner or later you just have to accept that.”
“Who died? What the heck are two guys talking about?” Adriana asked.
Lazarus wheeled around. “He let our mother die a horrible, miserable death. He could have turned her. That would have saved her, but instead he just let her die.”
Stunned, Martin and Adriana were momentarily silent. Finally, Adriana asked the obvious. “You mean you two are brothers?”
Martin looked at Archie. “You mean this evil son-of-a-bitch is my uncle?”
Archie nodded. “I’m afraid so, Martin.”
Martin was bewildered by this new information. “That’s just great. A vampire dad, and an evil vampire uncle.”
“Hey,” Archie said, half smiling, his eyes moistening, “you called me dad.”
“Well, technically speaking, it is a fact. You are my father.”
“Father and son,” Lazarus sneered. “Finally, both of you will be good for something.” He turned and fussed about with syringes and blood filled vials.
Adriana asked Archie, “What happened to your mother?”
“She had what we used to call consumption. It was pulmonary tuberculosis. This was the 1500s...”
“Jesus Christ, you are old,” Adriana interrupted.
“Yeah, anyway, back then people died young. I had been wandering the countryside, doing what vampires do, and when I came home, I found Mother was sick, very sick, beyond the medical help of the day.”
Without looking up from his work, Lazarus spoke through gritted teeth. “You could have helped her. You chose not to.”
Archie continued. “Mother knew what I had become. She knew I was a vampire and could transform her into one, possibly saving her life, although probably not. Mother was pretty far gone by then. She didn’t want to be turned though. She said it was unnatural, a human living forever like that, eating blood, as she put it. Mother made a choice. I felt I had to respect it. Laz disagreed. He wanted to save her no matter what, even if she didn’t want to be saved.”
“Why didn’t he put the bite on her then?” Adriana asked.
“Laz was still a normal, or as normal as he ever was,” Archie said. “When I refused to intervene, he went running off to look for some other blood sucker to do the job. He found one all right, up in the North Country. Turned Laz, then sent him packing. By the time he got home, Mother was gone. At least we were able to give her a decent Christian burial. More than we’ll ever get.”
“Where was your father while all of this was going on?” Martin inquired.
“We have different fathers, so we’re only half-brothers. Never knew who our fathers were. Neither of them stuck around. Sixteenth century England wasn’t such a great place. It sucked really. Lots of poverty, lots of fighting, and dirt and mud were everywhere. Very messy. We live in much cleaner times now, thank goodness.”
Lazarus turned from the table. “Enough reminiscing. There’s work to be done. Archie, I hope you’re not as squeamish about getting shots as your son here, although I do remember you had hemophobia.”
“Been over that for hundreds of years now,” Archie said.
“Well, goody for you.”
“Do you really think you’re going to get away with all of this?” Martin asked.
“Oh yes, yes indeed. I think I will, as always, be very successful. By this time tomorrow, my legions will have loosed a bloody chaos all around the world. Then I can begin to make my fortune.”
Lazarus was about to inject Archie with the serum when the laboratory door came flying off it’s hinges, landing on the floor with a dull thud.
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