Phil’s foot moved quickly from the gas pedal to the brake and back again as he raced his police department’s only vehicle down the narrow side streets of Arbor Woods. Beside him sat Bulldog Armstrong. Firmly planted on his lap was Colette, head hanging out the window, tongue hanging out of her mouth.
“I really don’t think there’s enough room in this vehicle for five people and a wolf,” Bulldog said as he inhaled tufts of Colette’s fur into his mouth. She ignored him and continued to draw in the sulphur aroma that now just barely lingered in the night air.
Without bringing her head inside, Colette hollered directions at Phil. “Okay, turn right up here. Yeah, we’re headed in the right direction. Another right up here and it shouldn’t be too far.”
Phil sped along, turning corners as quickly as he could without flipping over the SUV. Swaying with every turn, Maria and James sat in the back seat, peering through the windows, watching the darkened houses speed by. Between them sat Archie, grasping for something to hold on to.
“Get your hands off me, old man,” Maria said without looking at him.
“I’ve got to hold on to something, else I’ll fall out of the car,” Archie pleaded.
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to happen,” Maria responded.
“Stop,” Colette shouted. “This is it. The aroma fades away here.” She pulled her head back inside, glanced at Bulldog and said, “Now that wasn’t so bad, was it baby?”
The car had yet to come to a halt when Bulldog threw the door open. Before he could finish saying, “Get the hell off me,” Colette had darted out, promptly found the nearest tree, and lifted a leg. Looking back at the others as they exited the car, she said, “I know this ain’t lady-like, but this is how I pee, at least when I’m a wolf. Whew, I feel better now. Let’s go kick some ass or rescue some people or something.” Her tail wagged furiously.
The group gathered on the sidewalk, pausing to look at the house. “Doesn’t exactly look like the lair of an evil genius, does it?” James asked. “Looks more like someone’s trying to get on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens.”
“Okay, we need some sort of a plan,” Phil said. “Colette, are you okay?”
The she-wolf had made her way to one of the large bushes on the side of the house to lift her leg again. “Sorry, I had a lot of coffee today. I think I’m all right now. So what are we doing?”
“We’re trying to figure out a way in without being noticed,” Phil answered.
“How about we just use the front door.” Maria was standing on the porch, about to knock when Bulldog said, “Don’t do that. We can’t just walk in like we’re here for a cup of tea.”
“Why not?” Maria responded. “You have to figure they’ll be expecting us. Do you really believe that they would think we weren’t going to come after them?”
“The front door could be booby trapped.”
Maria ignored him and decided to try the doorknob. It turned in her hand and the door opened.
“Really, does no one lock their doors in this town?” Bulldog asked.
“I told you, Arbor Woods is a very safe place,” Phil said.
James rolled his eyes. “Except for all the vampires that apparently call this town home, some of whom seem to be criminally insane.”
Phil shrugged, said, “No place is perfect,” then went up the porch stairs. “Well, we might as well go in. Let’s stick together. Colette, come over here by me.”
Phil entered the front room, searching without success for a light switch. When they were all in the room the front door slammed closed behind them. At first there was total darkness, then lights in the corners of the room slowly came to life, revealing Lazarus Gorey sitting in a modern leather recliner, his feet propped on the ottoman. Not exactly Victorian, but elegant and tasteful.
“How lovely of you all to pay me a visit,” Lazarus said.
“Is that an Eames?” James asked, his eyes wide with wonderment and envy.
“It is indeed, young man,” Lazarus said. “It’s a prototype, given to me by Ray herself.” He chuckled, added, “I think she had a thing for me.”
“She must have,” James said as he approached slowly, as if nearing some sort of sacred relic. “It’s beautiful. It must be worth a fortune.”
“I’m sure that it is, but its monetary value doesn’t concern me. I have enough money. Besides, I would never part with this chair. I love it.” Lazarus leveled his gaze at Phil. “But we’re not here to talk about chairs, are we?”
Phil assumed a John Wayne stance, a hip thrust to one side, arms hanging relaxed, as if he might need to quickly draw a pistol. “No, I guess we’re not.” His eyes narrowed as he tried to fathom what Lazarus was going to do next.
“I’m glad you’re all here,” Lazarus said, “especially you, Archie.”
Surprised, Archie asked, “Me? Since when are you ever glad to see me?”
“Well, usually never, but tonight is an exception. I need you, my old friend.” With no apparent effort on his part, in an instant Lazarus was standing directly in front of Archie. “Old boy, I’ve known you a long time. We go back centuries.” The big man beast began to circle the slender, gentle vampire. “Things have worked out for me quite well over the course of my life. For you, things have been a little tougher.”
“I haven’t got any complaints,” Archie said, turning his head to cast a suspicious glance at the big man. He had the feeling of being stalked.
“I know you, Archie, I know how you tick. You’ve never been entirely comfortable being a vampire. All the feeding, the centuries of blood letting, it was never a life you really settled into. The constant search for new conquests, it tired you out, it wore you down. You are tired now, aren’t you, physically and mentally? For years now, ever since your divorce from the lovely Mrs. Van Buren here, you thought you would just go off and wait to die. Life and death don’t always work out the way we want them to. Isn’t that right, Arch?”
Lazarus was in front of Archie again. “There was always a part of you that wanted to return to a mortals life. You wanted everything to be normal, normal love and normal sex, normal aging and normal death. You wanted your existence to come to an end in the old fashioned way, sitting in a rocker on a porch somewhere, waiting for that big gripper to claim you.”
With a sneer, Lazarus said, “You wanted to be just like everybody else. You weren’t fit to be immortal.”
He put his face close to Archie’s. “I can help you with your desire to be mortal again. I can make it happen.”
Archie looked at him for a moment. “Your breath stinks. Try brushing your fangs once in a while.”
Lazarus drew his head back and smiled. “You always did try to put up a tough front. But that’s not who you really are. You’re a normal trapped inside a vampire body. I can help you get back to who you really are.”
“What if I’m not interested?”
“You have absolutely no choice in the matter.”
“I really don’t think there’s enough room in this vehicle for five people and a wolf,” Bulldog said as he inhaled tufts of Colette’s fur into his mouth. She ignored him and continued to draw in the sulphur aroma that now just barely lingered in the night air.
Without bringing her head inside, Colette hollered directions at Phil. “Okay, turn right up here. Yeah, we’re headed in the right direction. Another right up here and it shouldn’t be too far.”
Phil sped along, turning corners as quickly as he could without flipping over the SUV. Swaying with every turn, Maria and James sat in the back seat, peering through the windows, watching the darkened houses speed by. Between them sat Archie, grasping for something to hold on to.
“Get your hands off me, old man,” Maria said without looking at him.
“I’ve got to hold on to something, else I’ll fall out of the car,” Archie pleaded.
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to happen,” Maria responded.
“Stop,” Colette shouted. “This is it. The aroma fades away here.” She pulled her head back inside, glanced at Bulldog and said, “Now that wasn’t so bad, was it baby?”
The car had yet to come to a halt when Bulldog threw the door open. Before he could finish saying, “Get the hell off me,” Colette had darted out, promptly found the nearest tree, and lifted a leg. Looking back at the others as they exited the car, she said, “I know this ain’t lady-like, but this is how I pee, at least when I’m a wolf. Whew, I feel better now. Let’s go kick some ass or rescue some people or something.” Her tail wagged furiously.
The group gathered on the sidewalk, pausing to look at the house. “Doesn’t exactly look like the lair of an evil genius, does it?” James asked. “Looks more like someone’s trying to get on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens.”
“Okay, we need some sort of a plan,” Phil said. “Colette, are you okay?”
The she-wolf had made her way to one of the large bushes on the side of the house to lift her leg again. “Sorry, I had a lot of coffee today. I think I’m all right now. So what are we doing?”
“We’re trying to figure out a way in without being noticed,” Phil answered.
“How about we just use the front door.” Maria was standing on the porch, about to knock when Bulldog said, “Don’t do that. We can’t just walk in like we’re here for a cup of tea.”
“Why not?” Maria responded. “You have to figure they’ll be expecting us. Do you really believe that they would think we weren’t going to come after them?”
“The front door could be booby trapped.”
Maria ignored him and decided to try the doorknob. It turned in her hand and the door opened.
“Really, does no one lock their doors in this town?” Bulldog asked.
“I told you, Arbor Woods is a very safe place,” Phil said.
James rolled his eyes. “Except for all the vampires that apparently call this town home, some of whom seem to be criminally insane.”
Phil shrugged, said, “No place is perfect,” then went up the porch stairs. “Well, we might as well go in. Let’s stick together. Colette, come over here by me.”
Phil entered the front room, searching without success for a light switch. When they were all in the room the front door slammed closed behind them. At first there was total darkness, then lights in the corners of the room slowly came to life, revealing Lazarus Gorey sitting in a modern leather recliner, his feet propped on the ottoman. Not exactly Victorian, but elegant and tasteful.
“How lovely of you all to pay me a visit,” Lazarus said.
“Is that an Eames?” James asked, his eyes wide with wonderment and envy.
“It is indeed, young man,” Lazarus said. “It’s a prototype, given to me by Ray herself.” He chuckled, added, “I think she had a thing for me.”
“She must have,” James said as he approached slowly, as if nearing some sort of sacred relic. “It’s beautiful. It must be worth a fortune.”
“I’m sure that it is, but its monetary value doesn’t concern me. I have enough money. Besides, I would never part with this chair. I love it.” Lazarus leveled his gaze at Phil. “But we’re not here to talk about chairs, are we?”
Phil assumed a John Wayne stance, a hip thrust to one side, arms hanging relaxed, as if he might need to quickly draw a pistol. “No, I guess we’re not.” His eyes narrowed as he tried to fathom what Lazarus was going to do next.
“I’m glad you’re all here,” Lazarus said, “especially you, Archie.”
Surprised, Archie asked, “Me? Since when are you ever glad to see me?”
“Well, usually never, but tonight is an exception. I need you, my old friend.” With no apparent effort on his part, in an instant Lazarus was standing directly in front of Archie. “Old boy, I’ve known you a long time. We go back centuries.” The big man beast began to circle the slender, gentle vampire. “Things have worked out for me quite well over the course of my life. For you, things have been a little tougher.”
“I haven’t got any complaints,” Archie said, turning his head to cast a suspicious glance at the big man. He had the feeling of being stalked.
“I know you, Archie, I know how you tick. You’ve never been entirely comfortable being a vampire. All the feeding, the centuries of blood letting, it was never a life you really settled into. The constant search for new conquests, it tired you out, it wore you down. You are tired now, aren’t you, physically and mentally? For years now, ever since your divorce from the lovely Mrs. Van Buren here, you thought you would just go off and wait to die. Life and death don’t always work out the way we want them to. Isn’t that right, Arch?”
Lazarus was in front of Archie again. “There was always a part of you that wanted to return to a mortals life. You wanted everything to be normal, normal love and normal sex, normal aging and normal death. You wanted your existence to come to an end in the old fashioned way, sitting in a rocker on a porch somewhere, waiting for that big gripper to claim you.”
With a sneer, Lazarus said, “You wanted to be just like everybody else. You weren’t fit to be immortal.”
He put his face close to Archie’s. “I can help you with your desire to be mortal again. I can make it happen.”
Archie looked at him for a moment. “Your breath stinks. Try brushing your fangs once in a while.”
Lazarus drew his head back and smiled. “You always did try to put up a tough front. But that’s not who you really are. You’re a normal trapped inside a vampire body. I can help you get back to who you really are.”
“What if I’m not interested?”
“You have absolutely no choice in the matter.”
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